This is going to be a bit of a read but I just need some advise and just plain motivation.

A little back story:

In 2014 I was a junior in high school and I had been playing soccer but during one of the physical test I had to take they noticed that there was something off. At first I thought that because I was away that was just high blood pressure but I felt like there was something more wrong. Fast forward to August 2014 my first week into senior year and they find out that my kidneys are at 14% function so I go in for a biopsy and of course I overdo it and I tear the hole my kidney, anyway I was in the hospital for about a week and they found out that I had a severe scarring on both of my kidneys and that I would need dialysis. September 1s my mom passed away it was so sudden and then expected and then a month later I was starting dialysis. I was on dialysis until August 2015 where I was lucky enough to receive a transplant. There was complications with the transplant and I was in the hospital for about a month trying to get everything sorted out and fixed. Since 2015 I have had two rejections of the transplanted to me but luckily they were able to treat it with steroids and keep the kidney. I had been suffering with chronic migraines and luckily Botox had also worked with being able to take it from having a migraine every day for like five hours to barely once every few months. I feel like it is this year where I have felt like things were getting worse. First off I have always suffered with depression but really hadn’t tried to get anything done for it until about 2017 and just now am I starting therapy and trying to been trying to be in college and be independent and just work on my future but right now everything sort of at a standstill.

2019:

So I have been experiencing going from a sitting position to a standing position and then completely like losing my vision for about 20/32 and then will return to me along with being just constantly tired and just exhausted all the time finally I was just fed up with it and I am currently a senior in college so when I went to my doctor they recommended a cardiologist who spoke to me about pots disorder. So if anyone wants to Google that and understand it more they can’t but for me it really just explained all the symptoms that I had and he also had diagnosed me with chronic fatigue. Just this last week I had an onset of dysphasia. I was at work and all of a sudden I have lost the ability to speak I went to the emergency room and they didn’t find anything wrong and just sent me home I wasn’t able to complete full sentences for about 24 hours. Right now I’m currently just trying to figure out what I’m doing because I’ve had to take a medical leave from college and quit working because the disorder that I have doesn’t allow me to really stand and be active all day. So much has gone on and I’m just so tired and I feel like my depression is that an all-time high right now because I just really don’t see how the quality of my life is going to be playing out with everything that has gone wrong I really want to have a child and get a degree and just live my best life but I don’t know how I can when it seems like all the time is just another step back and I just feel like at this point I can’t really even catch up. Any advice or encouragement would be honestly just great I just don’t know what to do anymore.