I just really need to vent right now. I'm just so overwhelmed. Especially with the holidays coming up. I have 2 girls a 3 year old and a 2 month old. I have been elected to host Thanksgiving at our house for my husband's family for the 3rd year in a row. So I've been trying to prepare for that (meal plan, shop, clean the house) on top of my daily duties. My husband is no support or help whatsoever. This past weekend I wanted to go to the store to get a few things for organization around the house. So Saturday I ventured out by myself hubby stayed home with the kids. It was so nice to have a break to be by myself since I am with the kids/family 24/7. I didnt find everything I wanted at the first store so I went to another one. Hubby calls to check in I said I just got to this other store I'll be back soon. He said ok that the baby was getting fussy so I should try to be quick. After I finished at the store and and was on my way home I got another call from him and during the call he said if I'm gonna disappear and shop for hours I need to get someone to watch the kids. I like WTF isnt that what hes supposed to do since hes their other parent!!!! And I was only gone for 2 hours max. More like an hour and 40ish mins. So apparently if I want 2 hours a week to myself I gotta get a babysitter because he doesnt feel like parenting!!!

Okay so fast forward to Tuesday...I go grocery shopping after he gets home from work so I can get the stuff for thanksgiving before they get sold out of things I might need and I'm not rushing last minute. I leave the house around 5 at 5:11 he calls me to tell me our 3 year old is upset about something. 5:17 he calls again (cant remember why) 5:57 calls again.asked if I'm almost done shopping 6:02 asks if I can finish getting stuff later cause he doesnt feel well and the kids are fussing. Calls again about 6:22 tells me he needs me to get home cause he needs to lay down he has a headache. Finally got annoyed at getting 5 calls in an hour and a half I picked up take out on my way home and headed home. And decided to order the rest of my stuff through grocery pickup later that night.

Its ridiculous how he doesnt feel he needs to take care of these kids and that I need to take care of their every need 24/7. He cant handle 2 measly hours home alone with them. When we are both home I am literally doing everything by myself. He wont help with the baby hardly ever and the last week or so hes really gotten bad to the point he wont even try to comfort her while I make her bottle so she just sits there and screams while I'm making the bottle as quickly as I can so i can get back to her and settle her down.

Nighttime is the worst though everyone's tired and wants to go to bed but they all want me to be able to get them to sleep. My 3 year old wants cuddles and story books. The baby needs changed, pajamas, and bottle and cuddles. And hubby wants cuddles and sexy time. And I cant be in 3 places at once most of the nighttime routine involves bouncing between giving the kids the attention and things the need for bed until the fall asleep while hes giving me looks like why isn't the kids asleep yet I need to go to sleep for work. Well they would get to sleep faster if he would fucking help.

I got 0 cleaning done today. My 3 year old says she doesnt feel good and she had a little fever. My 2 month old has been fighting sleep and naps all day. I have 0 time for me or self care. It's almost 1 am and I have to get up early for an appointment tomorrow and I'm debating cleaning some and taking a shower while everyone is asleep so it feels like i actually got something done.

Thanks for listening. I'm just beyond stressed.