Very very unpopular feeling/opinion

My husband and I tried for 2 years to get pregnant. After 3 losses, one at 16 weeks and the other two at 7/8 weeks, I was hell bent on getting pregnant.

We had to go the medicated route.

I’m 27 weeks now, I have a incompetent cervix, have hypermesis gravidarium, have been hospitalized and I have also been put on strict bedrest.

The last few weeks especially, I’ve felt like I made a mistake. I know I’ll be eaten alive, but I feel like I should’ve have gotten pregnant.

Has anyone by chance ever felt the same way? I am seeing a therapist, But they keep just saying that I most likely feel this way because it’s been such a terrible pregnancy. I don’t feel like it’s because of that, but I’m not quite sure really what to feel.

We had to Make the decision to try to save my sons life or to let him go if he came at 23 weeks when I went into preterm labor. We went and signed a dnr, his chances of survival were so low.