I didn't have a problem with my MIL until I had my daughter. My MIL has made me feel like shit since the day my daughter was born. I ended up needing a c-section. I was only doing what I knew I could do, and I wasn't trying to push my body too much during my hospital stay. I was walking all the way to the NICU every 3 hours to feed my daughter, I was up and down to use the rest room, I was doing a lot more than I knew I could, I still needed my husbands help to stand from the bed or to get to the bathroom and I was really proud of myself for how things were going during my stay.

Until my husband needed to go home to the night before I was dishachrged to make sure our room was in order for our home coming. His mom, my MIL, stayed with me over night in his place. She wouldn't help me stand. She didn't help me during my walk to the NICU. And then when my husband switched back with her, he spiked the beans on what He's mom had been saying before the night she stayed with me.

She told him that she wanted to tell me to stop fucking with my pillows and just stand the fuck up.

I needed to move my pillows around so I could sit up easier in order to get out of bed to go feed my baby.

She told him I needed to get out of my bed more often and walk more.

Even tho I was up and walking every 3 hours to get to the NICU.

He told me it was all just her "tough love".

Then we got home. We live with my husbands parents. I wasn't ready for visitors at home just yet, and the second day we were home, my husband's grandparents showed up to visit. After already having visited us multiple times in the hospital. Then a couple days home his aunt and uncle and their 2 crazy hectic kids visited. Neither times was I asked if it was ok, if I felt up to it. I was told they were visiting. Or that they were on their way over already. I was so exhausted and out of it and overwhelmed I couldn't hold a conversation with them, and I was way too tired to walk them out to their car to say goodbye. When we went to bed that night, my husband told me his mom complained about me not conversing with them or seeing them off and my husband chewed me out that night about not interacting with his family enough.

I cried so much nearly my daughter's entire first month of life because of my MIL. My MIL makes me feel like I've already failed as a parent because of how I want to take care of my baby. I feed on demand, my MIL wants me to let my daughter lay there and cry for a few minutes and THEN I can feed her. My MIL never breastfed, it was all formula. My daughter is exclusively breastfed, she wants me to pump so she can feed my daughter.

My MIL was holding my daughter the other night and my daughter was wide awake and was getting hungry and was starting to fuss and cry and my MIL was like "oh are you getting hungry??" and instead of handing me my daughter so I can feed her she pushed a pacifier in her mouth and rocked her to sleep. I now hate when my MIL holds my daughter. She constantly does things like this when holding her. My entire pregnancy she told me I immediately needed to put my daughter on a sleep schedule, but when I tried my MIL ruined it with how many times she rocked my daughter to sleep when she needed to stay awake and be interacted with. I told my husband I didn't want his mother doing that because I didn't want my daughter getting used to his mom putting her to sleep because it'll be barder for he and I to put her to sleep once we move out, which he informed me wont be for a long time. I don't want my daughter growing up here.

Last week I had just gotten my daughter out of this weird fussy funk she had been in for a couple days and my MIL was sitting there trying to make her cry and get fussy. Not letting her cry, TRYING TO MAKE HER CRY. Its line she wants to hear her cry. She was holding my daughter, and my daughter was kind of fussing in her arms and my MIL just kept going "are you gonna cry? Come on. Let me hear it. Get loud." In a mean sounding tone. My daughter is a pretty good baby, onlt getting LOUD when shes hungry and I haven't gotten to her in time. She fusses, but never throws a tantrum, and hardly cries. I told my husband that it was all making me uncomfortable, he even told me that if I didnt want his mom doing something then he would back me up and tell her no. Then after he had a conversation with his mom that same day, he said it was his baby too and if his mom wanted to hold our daughter she could.

His mom now grabs her and holds her without asking or seeing if we're gonna get up to calm her fussing. She interacts and tries to teach my daughter as if SHE is her mother. She constanrly tells my hisband to scold me for wanting to hold my baby. She doesn't want me to let her fall asleep on me. They bought a pack n play for the feont room and told my husband it was to force me to put my daughter down throughout the day. When I was already putting her in her pack n play in our room and in her swing while we're in the feont room, for naps, so I could eat, so I could use the rest room etc.

It seems like my husband is a pushover when it comes to his mom. He acts like his mother is the only one who has ever had babies. According to him his mommy is always right. She's never wrong. She knows every thing. Even tho she has been wrong about a couple of things about my daughter. Maybe because I sont know IT'S NOT HER KID?? So how could she know??? He constantly runs to her anytime something happens with our daughter. He just doesn't take her advice as suggestions he takes it as if its 100% right and the only way we can do things.

I just feel really really isolated here. My mental health was already bad before pregnant(depression and anxiety) and it feels like its getting worse now in my postpartum. Like. It's all his family. His parents, his aunt and uncle, his grandparents. But any time my family wanted to visit my MIL would give me attitude afterwards. I have no space of my own to just heal from my c-section and learn to be a parent without his mom constantly looming over me and judging me and constantly wanting to take my daughter from me and I really really don't want her to hold my baby and I feel so overwhelmed but I feel like I can't say anything about it to my husband because he literally fought with his ex everyday because she didn't like his mom intervening so much in their relationship.

I feel like I can't say no to anything besides when someone offers to help assist me with something I can't do because of the pain. She was acting like by week 2 I should have been fully healed and doing everything by myself. She kept comparing my c-section and my recovery to her weight loss surgery. But her weight loss surgery wasn't getting her body sliced open while she was still awake and scared shitless, her organs weren't taken outand rearranged, and a child pulled from her body all to be stapled back up again after and expected to walk a few hours later. Her surgery wasn't aprupt, unplanned, unwanted, and traumatic. She wasn't in the hospital for a little over a week in order to heal enough to go home and take care of a newborn afterwards. I ended up hurting and bleeding a lot more than I should have while in the hospital because she told my husband not to help me.