Self respect?

Question

Hey girls! This is something I've been struggling with recently. All my life I've heard, as a woman you have to respect yourself, don't give it up on the 1st date, don't give it up that easy, don't have sex with a guy if you're not dating him, don't let men fondle you if you're not in a relationship and etc. But what if I want to go on a date with someone, have sex and then never see them again? What if I have a long time friend I've always wanted to do stuff with but that i don't want to date? Does this mean I don't respect myself or is it just a double standard put on by men? What does self respect exactly entail? Opinions would be very much appreciated !

Accepted Answer

To me, you can totally respect yourself and have a one night stand. Self respect doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else but yourself!  Your body is your temple, but you’re free to do with it what you wish!  Have fun, explore fantasies, go for it — as long as you are happy with yourself, no one can say a word.

Answer

Women should respect themselves and their bodies. However, having sex with a consenting partner doesn’t have anything to do with respect. 
That’s not to say being intimate with this friend is necessarily a great idea, but try to take shaming narratives out of it while weighing the pros and cons.

Answer

I feel respecting yourself means don’t let others use you, especially for sex. Respect yourself in that sense, don’t feel like you have to give up your body to please someone else. Also protecting yourself sex wise plays into respect as well.  But if you want to move forward and be intimate because it’s what you want, I say go for it. I don’t associate with that disrespecting yourself in my opinion. Whether it’s on the first date or 5th. There is a double standard in society unfortunately

Answer

It's just another way little girls are put in a box. They start young, telling you no one will buy the cow if you're giving the milk away for free and that is obviously a lie. No one bats an eye at a male who is having sex, he is applauded, but a female? Oh lord, they are shamed and ostracized for it. It's a total double standard. If you feel good about yourself, it doesn't matter what you do. Just be safe about it.

Answer

Ignore the “must remain pure” bullshit. 
You can do all of those things and still respect yourself. Respecting yourself, means you know what you are worth and will not lower it for anyone. 
Outdated views like the ones you have listed do nothing for no one as it is mean to oppress and control women.

Answer

Double standard. That kind of thinking equates women’s value with the social construct of virginity. It’s gross.

Answer

As long as you aren’t doing it out of low self-esteem and loneliness, then I think it has nothing to do with self respect. Although I will admit, if you’re looking for something serious, those are good rules to abide by (just from what I’ve experienced) but if you’re looking to have fun, then have fun and ignore what the haters say. Nothing wrong with it. :)

Answer

I always thought that the origin of this type of comment was directed towards women who were using sex as a trade system—at least in their own mind—with a date... which could go both ways... for example a woman feeling like she owed a man some kind of sexual experience because he paid for a nice date... or a woman feeling like if she has some kind of sexual experience with a man then he owes her some form of a relationship. I think of ‘respecting yourself’ as managing your personal expectations and being clear in what it is that you want. If you want a one night stand and you make that clear, and when the partner never calls you again you are still well adjusted and happy you did it then you managed your own expectations and still have respect for yourself in setting your own boundaries.
Personally I don’t believe in one night stands for myself, and I would be turned off by my own actions if I was to ever have one because it wouldn’t be a boundary I would set for myself and therefore I don’t think ai would be respecting myself if I had one. I think this equally applies to Men in that they need to manage their own expectations too and not be expected to always have sex when it’s offered to them just because there is an idea that men don’t care and always should want it.

Answer

As long as the decisions you are making about ur self, ur body, feelings, etc are conscious & come from you, then you are respecting yourself. Whatever those decisions may be. If u are making decisions based on others- making them feel better, trying to please them, etc- thats a problem because u have lost urself in the decision making.

Answer

My mom always preaches this and it is my belief that if I am doing something I don’t want to do or abstaining from something without good reason I am not self respecting.

Self respect?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey