My brother... oh my GOD 🤣🤣 I’ll never understand how a teenage boys mind works

He comes into the living room screaming “MY BUTT IS BLEEDING. ITS BLEEEEDING! I need to go to the ER I’m dying!” And we are like wait what? What are you talking about? So then he explains in great detail what is going on and I’m like “you probably have a hemorrhoid” and he’s like “but I didn’t push too hard! TAKE ME TO THE ER I NEED TO GO I AM DYING!”

So I google it and have to prove that diarrhea can cause them too.

But reading off the list of causes

“Constipation, diarrhea, obesity, heavy lifting, pregnancy.”

He said “thank god I’m not pregnant!” Which caused my mom to have her drink come out of her nose. He’s then still so adamant about the ER I said “you don’t need to go to the ER unless you are like an endless fountain of blood. Has it stopped? He said “yes” so I replied “I’ll take you to the doctor in the morning because mom has work.”

“No I’m not going.”

WHAT🤣🤣 he said “if I die it’s on you. If it’s just a hemorrhoid it’ll go away on its own and I’m gonna believe y’all so if I die it’s on you.” And my mom snapped back “oh you’re going to the doctor tomorrow. You’ve had diarrhea for 3 days. You don’t got a choice.”

“Ugh now I have to tell my doctor stuff about my butthole”

Me: and we just talked you out of telling the ER stuff about your butthole! What difference does it make?

Him: ITS DIFFERENT! And then he just walked away giggling like a baby or something and I just... 🤣

I feel like this doctors appointment is going to be just as amusing lol

Not my week

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