Still can't believe it.

Went in for an ultrasound today and everything is fine but I still feel like I can't believe it. I wanna talk to my husband about this feeling but I know he's going to tell me to quit stressing.

We tried for so long, had so many days, nights, weeks of nothing but crying bc we both wanted kids so badly.

We went to so many doctors, I tried so many different drugs, treatments, experiments. I've been poked and prodded and drained. Became iron and nutrient deficient, dehydrated, sleep deprived and still kept going, trying the next thing out there.

We survived the resentment that was building between us and the distance it created. We even went to weekly counseling sessions to get help.

I'm going to be a FTM and I am scared. I'm constantly worried about it aches and pains and the bleeding from a subchorionic hematoma that had me on strict bed rest for a month. I'm scared because I've wanted this for so long and I still can't believe it. I'm scared to believe it because I'm so worried I'm going to mess things up.

We still haven't had our anatomy scan and I'm nervous. We haven't told family or friends yet.