Feeling done. Gotta vent.
I'm just so frustrated and disappointed in our marriage, and idk what else to even do. So much has been going on and I'm honestly at my breaking point.
After all this time, NOTHING has been settled with his family. They still hate me and I still can't stand them. But no, I'm just supposed to put on a fucking smile and go to their house on Thanksgiving with our boys because "they're family".
He STILL hasn't defended me, or explained shit to any of them about the crap that's been going on or why I am so upset.
And then when I go to clean his car out (because he just wouldn't do it and I have to clean everything around here) along with all the nasty trash and crap everywhere, I found a container of dip. Not one time has he ever told me he dipped. He vapes. Occasionally he was smoking cigars, but it made him crave cigarettes too much so he stopped that too. Then when I asked him about it, the mf acted like I knew about it this whole time.
Which brings me to today. Recently my sister and her husband have been having problems as well. Hiding porn on his phone, and talking with other women. He and my husband were bff's back in the day, and he had to audacity to say to my face "man I thought after being around me that he would've been smarter about hiding it." A huge bright red flag waves right in my face. I said "are you serious right now? Who the fuck says that? So should I be going through your phone now, or is there even a point in trying because you just hide everything better?". I know he's a tech genius but he sure ain't a smart man.
I was up late with our baby tonight, so I decided to take a gander through his phone while he was sleeping. Not that I was likely to find anything since he knows how to make anything disappear...
The only thing of interest I saw was a conversation with his sister. Where she said how mad she was at me and he never responded. Then when she asked him not to block her out, he said "sorry I'm trying to work things out with her, it's not there yet, but I'm making progress". LIKE I'M THE FUCKING PROBLEM?!?!
Y'all. She was mad because I took her off Facebook. HE TOLD ME TO AND MADE ME DO IT. But did he bother to tell her that? NOPE. I am so over this shit with him, I don't even know where to go from here. I tried talking with her, but she refused to respond. I'm secretly planning to not go to his family's for Thanksgiving. I told him before and he threw a fucking tantrum on me, so this time, it will be spontaneous and IDC if he gets mad, the boys and I won't be attending. I am so over the drama and manipulation. I've had enough!
We have talked about marriage counseling, but he used that as an excuse to push this stuff with his family under the rug. And that's exactly the problem!
Our baby has been very sick for the last few weeks. It's been a huge distraction from all the turmoil and drama for me. But after seeing those messages and see how he talked about me and the situation, it's all completely back and I'm back to being angry again. Ugh. If it ain't one thing, it's another....