Is my fiance a bully or is it just me?
My 15 yo daughter from my previous marriage comes over to spend part of the week with me where I live with my fiance. Her father and I share physical custody. When she was here this past weekend, she wanted to make some tater tots in the air fryer. She put some in and then went back into the living room and went back to her drawing. My fiance and I were sitting in the kitchen. When I noticed that they had already been in there long enough and she hadn't come out to check on them, I was going to say something, my fiance said to me "no, she's making them, she should be paying attention, so if they burn, they burn". I was a little annoyed by that, but I kept my mouth shut so I wouldn't start an argument. When she finally did come out, they were a little over cooked but not burnt. She was upset just the same. I went in to talk to her and ask her what was wrong. She said "someone could have said something". To which I said, it's your food, your responsibility to keep an eye on it. She said "yeah, but what happens if it had caught fire or something, you guys are just gonna sit there and watch it burn?" I wasn't sure what I could have said to her, because I would have normally said something, like "hey, don't forget about your food" but I was "told" not to. I went back into the kitchen and my fiance asked what she was upset about. I told him that she felt that we could have said something. He laughed and shook his head. Anyway, later on, he starting back on the whole situation with me. I told him that I would have said something to her, but he told me not too. He then yelled in my face that if her phone had been broken she'd be able to pay attention. She wasn't even on her phone, she had been drawing for the last two hours. I got upset and went to our bedroom. He came back and said, "oh what's the matter sweetheart, did I upset you?! What part upset you?" I yelled, "the part where you yelled in my fucking face!" well then he walked back out to the kitchen and went into the living room to tell my daughter that everything was OK, that we were just having a little argument and she yelled at him to leave her alone and started crying. My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression from what she witness when I was with her father who was abusive to me. She doesn't deal well with men yelling at me. Well that lead to him changing the wifi password so she couldn't use it. I said he was doing it to be spiteful, he denies it. She went back to her dad's the next day and then came back yesterday afternoon. My fiance asked me to ask her if she was going to make something to eat for dinner. She doesn't eat meat, so she almost never eats what we make for dinner. She said she didn't want anything, I assumed right off the bat that it was because my fiance was sitting in the kitchen, like he always does. After about an hour he sent me in to ask again, she said she was good. I was 100% certain after that, that it was because of him. After the third time asking and her saying she's good, he says "how much you wanna bet when we go into the room to go to bed, she's gonna be out her getting something to eat?" I said, idk, maybe she just isn't hungry. He said "well if I hear one sound, I'm gonna go out there and give her shit" I'm like "why do you need to start shit for no reason, just leave her alone." He said if she wanted to eat, she could have ate the three times she was asked.
So basically he's saying she can't eat unless it's when he approves and then she got a headache last night and heard her going into the cabinet and taking a tylenol out and he texts me, because I'm out in the living room... again, and he says, I'll get rid of those too. So apparently she can't take anything for a headache either. After that, we had a long text conversation about how he's a bully and needs to grow up and his response was that I am the reason that there are pussies in this world.
Anyway, sorry for the long rant, but is it just me? Am I just to over protective of my daughter? Am I babying her? Am I wrong for sticking up for her?