This morning, 14 DPO, I woke up excited but nervous to take a pregnancy test. I went back and forth on it for 2 hours, living in the not knowing because there is still hope, I just lay awake waiting for my husbands alarm to go off for him to get up for work.

Mind you, I am a pee on a stick ADDICT! By 10 DPO I have already started taking tests. I decided to force myself to wait until at least 14 DPO, thinking that maybe, if I wait, it will come back positive (crazy right?)

Well the time comes to pee in the cup, I take the test, cover it up and go sit on the couch for 3 minutes crossing all my fingers and toes while my husband gets ready for work. Times up, I walk in, take a deep breath and uncover it...BFN.

I throw the test in the trash and walk past my husband and exaggerate my plop down back in the bed signaling to him that there’s nothing to tell and that I can’t talk about it. He hugs/kisses me goodbye.

I’m sad/mad all day. I get home from work and he hugs me again and tells me that he feels like it’s still to early to tell...bless his heart for still trying to have hope for the both of us. This is month 15 of TTC. Part of me hopes he’s right, but most of me knows that AF will probably be here tomorrow. 🥺