Anyone gone/going through this? Or similar 😔

Question

My husband and I are high school sweethearts, a couple years after college we got married and not even before our 1 year anniversary I found out he was sexting women online for months 💔
I later found out I was pregnant during our time of him trying to build trust back and because of all the excitement of our pregnancy I forget/put away all those feelings of resentment towards him, which was good, things seemed up. Our LO is 4 months and now that things are settling to a routine literally every time he gets on his phone I just get triggered. He’s an amazing father and does try hard to help amend things but honestly I don’t trust him 100% and that sucks to admit because he’s suppose to be my life partner and best friend. And I don’t even trust him completely 😓 we’re going to do counseling but deep down I have a fear that I’m always going to be like this or that he’s going to do something again and that I’m robbing myself of truly being happy by staying with him idk if that makes sense..
I’m just at a weird place

Answer

You aren’t wrong for feeling this way and it’s understandable with what you have been through. Cheating can leave so much emotional damage inside of us whether it’s with our current partner or from a past ones. You are sabotaging your happiness living in the past. Unless he is still doing things, it my be yourself gut setting off a red flag. We women tend to give men the benefit of the doubt. And sometimes end up collecting red flags like they are a dozen roses and and need to wake up to the reality instead. Do you honestly think he’s still up to no good? Maybe a tactic would be to take the phone locks off your phones and the only way you will feel comfortable is to be transparent and honest and have no issue going through each other’s phones. If he’s Leary to do this then maybe he is up to no good. It’s one thing to be watching porn and masturbating. It’s another to be contacting other girls or chaterbate or paid services etc. I show the guy I’m dating and tell him who has contacted me. We talk about porn preferences and what we are into. We aren’t together 24/7 we all have needs. We are newly dating and I am an open book. I tell him guess who contacted me again or guess who I saw. I have nothing to hide. I have zero desire to be with anyone from my past. And anyone that hits on me I tell him. He told me in the beginning that he can be jealous sometimes, I said we all can be at times and insecure too. My best friend is a guy and that can make other men uncomfortable. Especially since he’s a very good looking guy. He was trying to convince me why I shouldn’t date the guy I’m with and we left it at agree to disagree and I told him I’m staying until I’m not happy and this isn’t working. He knows what I will and will not tolerate and if I would walk away or not. He thinks I’m settling. He’s always been my protector and it’s a complicated relationship he comes with baggage previous wives and kids and I’m single. He has physical baggage and I have emotional rape/abuse/miscarriages etc. we titled it exclusively complicated which is exactly what we are. Even though every guy has cheated that doesn’t stop me from trying to find happiness or trying again. I had to learn to forgive. Not to their face and not because they deserved it, but because I deserve peace within. They were no. Longer going to steal my happiness. They don’t win. You can’t let the past ruin your future. If you think this is behind him then truly forgive. If you think he’s still up to no good then maybe your gut is right and this isn’t the man for you and are better off coparenting. I wish you luck as hope things get better.

Anyone gone/going through this? Or similar 😔

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