How do I orgasm?

This sounds so immature but I swear I’m not a preteen. I posted a bit ago about my fear of penetration so it prevents me from having sex and fingering myself. I am so sexually frustrated. I’ve tried masturbating other ways and they feel good but just get me more horny and I can’t get off. My boyfriend hasn’t been able to make me come, we’re both inexperienced. (We’ve tried oral and just general touching I guess). I want to orgasm so bad I’m so tense all the time. Does anyone have any tips?