Does moving in together b4 marriage strengthen or ruin a relationship

Question

Me and my fiancé have been together for 6 years now. The first 4 we didn’t live together. I remember we would see each other about 1-2 times a week after school and then I’d have to be home at a decent time. He proposed to me and after that we decided to move in together. We got an apartment and the first few months were very exciting! We cooked dinner all the time, cleaned together, had sex literally everywhere all the time. Then things kinda just started feeling “the same old same old” it was like things started becoming chores. I basically am now expected to cook every night and he will help but occasionally.. I am also expected to do his laundry... if it’s not done he doesn’t get angry but he def makes me feel like I should’ve done it. At this point, we stopped planning a wedding and have just been engaged and living together for 2 years. We don’t look forward to having sex like we used to, we don’t text dirty like we used to, and basically I’m a wife without the actual title. I keep asking myself, what if I waited til marriage to do all this stuff? Would he respect me more? Would we already be married? Has this happened to any of you ladies? It’s kinda a defeating feeling.. like what is the point of marriage if you do everything a married couple does without being married..

Answer

I think your situation is less a problem of moving in too soon and more a problem of communication. He shouldn’t be getting mad at you for not doing his laundry. The things you do around the house, he should partake in or at least be grateful. My SO and I share household chores, have continued doing so while living together and after signing our civil union. I’m sure the same behavior will follow when we get married. Because we worked out what we wanted for our house and even future goals together. Have you spoken about your possible wedding date? Why has all planning stopped? I think there’s something deeper happening, and living together is not the main issue

Answer

I think it's good to move in before getting married in case you aren't compatible living together.

Answer

It is very likely that this would have still happened if you waited till marriage to move in, only difference would be that you where his wife. It is very common for people to get into dry spells in their relationship after moving in together and spending so much of your time around one another. You need to communicate with him, tell him you need him to still help out with cleaning and cooking. And definitely talk with him about why the planing stopped and what you guys can do to get it back on track. You can try to find new things to keep things interesting in bed and in your relationship and couples counseling could help as well.

Answer

My comfort level with husband exponentially increased after I moved in. I love living with him. 
I hated living with my ex husband.

Answer

You really get to know eachother when you move in together. You get to learn their cleaning standards and what they expect to do around the house. It took a bit for my husband and I (moved in at 9ish months, married at the 2 year mark) to really learn what we needed from eachother with the housework. I have much higher standards for cleaning than my husband, so he won't even notice when something is a mess. This used to bother me, but Sunday is his designated cleaning day and he does a great job with that while I try to keep things tidy throughout the week. He can't cook, so I do the cooking. But he usually does the laundry. You have to figure out what works for you guys. Marriage really doesn't change much in a relationship. It makes things easier legally, but over all your relationship stays the same. That doesn't make it any less special though. I love being called his wife and being able to call him my husband. We joke all the time about how we should get married some day because we're just as madly in love with eachother now as we were back before we were married (if not more).

Answer

Every couple is different. I moved in with my bf after being together for less than a year, we had broken up a few times before I moved in, but afterward it was amazing until it went downhill. You have to be able to communicate with your partner otherwise you’re going to constantly argue and feel miserable. You both have to give it 100/100 not 80/10 or 50/50 in everything around the apartment.

Answer

i moved in with my bf at 6 months (some may think it’s too soon but it’s been perfect for us since) and we’ve not had many issues. sure, things kind of get into more a groove but that’s because that’s how these things go. we still make sure to plan dates and we like to add things into sex to try and make it more exciting (which it always is). we also have open communication and when we feel one is slacking off chore-wise, we mention it kindly and it’s never an issue. idk personally we’ve never had any issues with living together. maybe you should have an open dialogue about the issues you’re having. that’s what we do, we’re really open and bring issues to the table when we notice them so they don’t drag on and we don’t start resenting each other for things that the other person may not even know they’re doing.

Does moving in together b4 marriage strengthen or ruin a relationship

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