Lost my dad.

I lost my dad almost two months ago and the whole thing was very sudden. He was only 47. I’m the oldest of 7 children, youngest being 4 and I’ve taken them all in along with my mom. My husband and I work pretty good jobs so we’ll be comfortable. I’m purchasing the home my father always dreamed of having in the next few weeks yet I’m so upset he can’t be here to see everything I’m doing. How much I’m trying. I miss him so much. Sometimes I can be okay and other times I completely shut down. I just needed to vent. Thank you.