What's wrong with me? ☹️😷

I've been having urinary issues for the past 2 years. I'm 20 years old. Firstly, I used to get UTI's a lot as a kid, and even had like 10 when I was 18. I get them less now, maybe 3 times a year, so it's not bad at all anymore. I am very clean down there, and always pee after sex.

My current issues have been related to frequency, urgency, and occasional lack of bladder control. I'll go through periods of time where I'll be peeing up to 30 times a day, and it will feel like I have to pee immediately after. It's awful and affects my ability to work, sleep, and generally screws up my quality of life.

I also have asthma. Whenever I have an asthma attack, or have coughing fits for other reasons like being sick, sometimes I actually piss myself. It's not that often, maybe once every few months, and its usually just a little drizzle. But nonetheless, it's embarrassing and inconvenient.

My mother has issues with bladder control as well, however her doctor concluded that it's due to age. She also has asthma.

I went to a urologist a few weeks ago. All he did was check if my bladder was emptying properly. He said that it was fine. I told him about my other issues, and he guessed that I had overactive bladder and suggested a medication. He told me that the medication would take months to kick in, and it might help reduce the sensitivity, although it doesn't always work. It was also very expensive, do I just declined it. I feel like I didn't get adequate care. I also think the issue might actually be my urethra, since that's where I feel my issues. It doesn't feel like my bladder is full, it feels like the pee is literally about to come out of me.

I told him this, but essentially the response I got was a shoulder shrug. No other tests or anything. I think I may have ureter swelling, but no one will test me, believe me, or give me any other diagnoses. What do you think? Is it overactive bladder? Something else? Should I try to get in with another doctor for a second opinion?