Guys I’m so broken 😫😔

I’m a nanny and there’s a family that has reached out to me on 4 different occasions to work for them however even though I was looking for a new position, I couldn’t work for them because I was in school and they’re looking for someone to work full time and be their nanny/household manager (they were never upset and completely understood everything 💯)

Long story short, I decided to end this semester of college and have it be my last (for now) so now I’m looking for a full time position as the one I have now is only part time because the kids are in school. I’ve been searching and searching and just recently this week, the family reached out one last time and I decided to give it a go

I had a phone interview with them and then today I had an in person interview (both with just the mother)

Today during the interview she kept telling me how much she liked me and how I seemed so mature for my age (21) and how she can really tell that I’m in it for the kids and their well being and helping them grow and that I seem like such a well rounded person

During the ENTIRE interview it sounded like she was going to hire me on the spot.....like I’m not trying to sound cocky or entitled, but it really did sound like I had the job in the bag!

And then at the very end of the interview she told me that she had to be honest with me and tell me that her and her husband already sent out a contract to another person. She said that the person hasn’t signed it yet but if s/he does then she has to use that person but if it doesn’t get signed then we will be in touch

I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me... I mean it was a REALLY good position. She was so impressed that I have a resume and references and that I have 6 years of experience

She asked me at one point what is or was the hardest part of my job where I’m at currently and I explained to her that the mother of the kids that I watch used to abuse the children and tried to drown the girl when she was 6.... and I explained that I started working for the father only a short 6 months after he got rid of the wife... so there was a huge learning curve with patience and getting them to learn to trust me and trust that I wasn’t going to do anything to hurt them. I also explained that they used to really push my limits to see what they could do and get away with and whenever the girl would get mad she would act like her mom (because her mom was an example/bad influence to her on how to act) and she used to hit and kick me and almost get into a black out rage. And when she was only SIX broke out into a black out rage and started throwing all of her toys and sheets and pillows and books and posters on her wall and was saying “well I’m not gonna need any of this stuff if I’m dead” and I was like... dead??? What do you mean dead??? And she explained that she wanted to kill herself.... she then took down a poster being held up with a thumb tack and showed me the thumb tack and goes “and this is what I use to cut myself”.... my heart literally broke 😭

Her father was away on a business trip in Korea so I had to give him the news over the phone because I wasn’t about to wait till several days later when he got home.. and I was calling and texting my mom to ask for advice and help

Anyways I’m getting way off track....

basically after I explained all of that, she was very happy and impressed that I stayed with the family even after all of that so that the kids could have some sort of consistency in their lives because so much had been changing so quickly for them between their mother being kicked out of the house, the father leaving all the time for business trips, the father constantly getting new nannies etc.

Idk man I just really thought I was going to get this job 😭😭

My chances of whether I get this job or not is all riding on if that person signs the contract or not and I’m so disappointed 😔

She said if they do end up signing it she will still use me for weekends or if something comes up and they have to get rid of the person then she will hire me and we will be in touch but idk if she’s just saying that

She texted me about 30 min after I left her house to thank me for meeting with her which was really nice because no one has ever done that before, I’m usually the one who thanks them for giving me an interview ... so I thought that was really nice

I’m just hoping by the grace of god that I get this position because I need it so bad 😫😫😫