I am in my early teenage years and there are 4 main incidents and i would like opinions on all 4 see what i should do.

1.) I will name him octagon. He is about 3 years older than me we would video call every day he lived in another state. I at the time was 11. He made me feel good about myself sometimes but he would pressure me into sexual roleplays and almost exposing pictures. He would threaten me with suicide everytime i declined him.

2.) He is the boy down the street I'll name him pentagon. He is about 2 years older than me I had been friends with him since i was about 7 or 8. Well this even happened when i was 12(5th grade) and he was 13(7th grade). Well one day we were in my backyard swimming around because we had an above ground pool and he started suddenly touching me. I fought back but he was so much stronger than me he. He touched ME and i told my mom because i was scared and confused and she brushed it off. I thought nothing of it and now i get vivid memories from it.

3.) His name is circle. This happend when i was 13 (going into 8th grade) and he was 17(going into 12th). We met at a church dinner and it was cool because he was the only one who wasnt homophobic. I chilled with him and we got to talking i shared my instagram with him and we continued to talk after. This is where it becomes a confusion he initiated sexual conversations. I didnt decline them and i played along but i was uncomfortable. One night I had made a joke about playing a game and he had said "what are we drinking". My response was to make an excuse as to get out of that question so i replied how i was at my grandmas and she was very against alcohol. Well he had offered to pick me up and at this point im freaking out because he had talked about wanting to try things with me. I replied with how i didnt have a way to sneak out and i wouldnt get back early enough. He gave up and started talking about sexual stuff. He had a girlfriend.

4.) His name is square. I was in 5th grade and he is a 60 something year old man. Keep in mind this is at one of my moms cookouts and alcohol is always involved at those. My mom says she saw him walking out of my room zipping up his pants. That morning i had pain down there but i ignored it and went to church. I think i was possibly drugged because i saw him near my drink but i didnt question it because he was practically family. I almost have to wonder what happened that night. Was i raped? i will never know and i think thats worse than knowing.

Opinions? Thoughts?

Things I will not ever understand

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