He left again

So After 6 years, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Lots of ups downs and being pretty absent threw all of it . My baby daddy came back into our lives last June. Full of hopes and promises of change.

And me the dumbass that I am believed him this one last time. He has managed to leave us once again. Weeks before Christmas. I am almost 11 weeks pregnant and full of emotions. I am not scared of being alone.. I am pretty use to it at this point. But its litterally breaking my heart for my children. How the hell do you

explain him up and leaving them. Unlike in the past they are fully aware and alert and definitely feel something is wrong . I cant hide this one and it kills me. Not to mention we have like zero money now for Christmas because i had to pay the rent and utilities alone this month..... :(

Urggg i just keep praying and telling myself god has a plan. And everything must work out!! It has too.. I look at my boys and smile from ear to ear.. thats a great possitive start!!!

Sorry had to share. I have been keeping all of this from my friends and family because i know what the all will say.