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My story 💞 (warning: includes self harm, eating disorder and rape)

Rose • Tue, Dec 17 • 18 ~~ baby girl expected for 04/20 🧸🎀

Im going to tell my story to encourage others and let them know they’re not alone (warning this will be very long)

Hey, I’m rose and I’m 18 years old.

My life has been crazy..

for a starter I had childhood leukemia when I was 12 and had chemotherapy for 5 years that damaged multiple of my organs. I did not support the chemotherapy at all I was sick all the time all day long couldn’t do anything but sleep and go to the hospital. I missed multiple years of school and couldn’t even finish highschool.

I don’t have a good relationship with my family. My half brother tried to rape me when I was younger. My dad blames me for his divorce and my mother left me alone at home for a year and a half while I was only 16 to live with her boyfriend she often forgot to feed me causing me to be hungry very often. So I got a small job to provide for myself

I went through two bad relationships two assholes that both cheated on me from then on I believed I was the problem. It didn’t help that my mother acted out her anger on me saying I was worthless and would never achieve anything..

I fell into a depression, hated myself hated my body I started to starved myself to lose weight and got very close to anorexia..

I had at least 3 suicide attempts and self harmed for a awhile as well. I struggled with an eating disorder for a year, eating became painful to me..

I was lucky enough to find a nice guy that treats me right only problem is that he lives 4822 miles away from me so I barely ever see him. Last summer, I spend the summer at his place and had the best time of my life and pure happiness. We had been together for over a year so decided to.. go all the way. I was on birth control due to a hormonal problem and we used protection... the protection broke but since I was on birth control I didn’t worry..

Then I found out I was pregnant and I was terrified. I had to quit my job since I had to carry heavy things there and could no longer do that.. i felt useless worthless... Although I didn’t even think about abortion, or giving up this baby as I found it very unfair to punish that innocent little child for my mistake. So I decided to keep it and let me tell you it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

My relationship with my mom has improved by a LOT! she actually respects and cares for me now.

My relationship with my boyfriend has never been better and we are closer than ever.

But most importantly, my relationship with myself is amazing now. I love my body now, I’m proud of my body for doing this wonderful thing and carrying my baby. I’m positive and happy now and really want to be the best possible mom to my little one..

Recently we had a miscarriage scare and we were both absolutely crushed at the idea of us having lost our little one, that scary adventure made us see how much we truly already love this baby.. I honestly would already give my life for my little peanut!

(I also deleted this app and my account and my pictures when I thought I had a miscarriage just because I was so heartbroken I’m back hi! )

So that’s my story.. as long as you keep your head high, keep smiling and believe in yourself everything will be fine, just have patience I promise everything will get better 💞