Pregnant and the dad doesn't want it...

Im so torn right now... I want this baby so bad. It hurts so bad though to hear that if I don't abort it my boyfriend is leaving and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. Before this happened I swear I was head over heals totally in love with him. And now hearing him say that is putting me in the worst pain I have ever been in. And it's so hard for me to believe that he will be here for me if I did go through with it. I'm scared of losing him. But what if I lose him after making such a hard decision... I have a 5 year old son already with no father. And it's hard to imagine having 2 kids with no dad. Having to explain to both of them why they don't have a dad. I already had to do that with my son and it's so heartbreaking.

But then im looking at the amount of love and joy I would get out of having 2 babies to love on and to feel that unconditional love back. And giving my son a sibling to grow up with. I need advice. Kind words. Anything to help me get through this and make the right decision. I didn't think that this loving caring guy that I've been with could turn out to be so heartless... He even said adoption isn't an option. He wants me to terminate this pregnancy completely. I know I'm everywhere right now. But I'm so hurt and lost at this point. My mind is constantly racing.