So I’ve been in treatment for my eating disorder the past three months and have been away from my fwb/guy I’m talking to/hopefully my potential boyfriend??? since I left. He talks to me everyday and knows why I’m in treatment. I’m scared because I didn’t go into treatment underweight (in fact I was definitely overweight ~180😭) and I’ve been eating consistently without purging and minimal restricting. I feel like I’ve gained an enormous amount of weight and I feel so uncomfortable like every part of me just looks horrid. I know he’s gonna want to hook up when I come back and I definitely want to hook up too because I miss him so much. I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with my body. I know he would never judge me and he thinks I look good but when I look at my body I just get disgusted. I have no idea how I’ll sustain recovery from bulimia and be at a decent weight. I know my disease might prevent me from losing my body no mater what size I am (at least for the time being), but surely this overweight, flabby, gross body isn’t what I want or what he wants. I just don’t know how I’ll enter back into sexual intimacy with this new, healthier body that might have some extra weight on it??? Also if someone could tell me if I’m being dramatic??? Like I’ve never been skinny but am I really as fat as I think I am?? I know I am. But at the same time I see other girls wearing size 10/m/L and they look sooo pretty and like they have a great body so idkkk why I’m so defective.