Help me out here ladies! I'm a FTM, my baby girl is 4.5 months old, EBF so far. No pumps, no bottles.

Sleep training the baby seems to be on top of every new mother's list. And on every baby forum. However, most of them refer to babies who sleep in their own cots or even in their own rooms. I'm not sure how to apply most of the ideas i come across, to my situation. My husband and I bed share with our baby on a king sized bed. And this we plan to do till baby's 4 years old. We won't change this no matter what anyone says so pray don't.

She goes to sleep by about 9-10pm. She wakes up once or twice a night, dream feeds and goes right back to sleep. Wakes up by half 8-9.

I would love to have her fall asleep by herself when it's bedtime or even nap time for that matter. She usually sleeps while feeding or at times being carried while being gently patted and listening to light music. How do i bring about changes and train her to fall asleep by herself. So far I've failed quite miserably! Left to her own devices, she's manages to stay up till even 1am. Then it's time for a feed and she falls asleep feeding.

During the day, she just gets more and more cranky if i don't "put her to sleep". Otherwise a very happy content baby.

I've tried all the common tips and haven't had the expected results.

Eg: I've tried placing her down when drowsy but she just becomes fully awake and won't sleep for another hour or 2.

I've tried a regular sequence of things in the evening: massage, change of clothes, reading, feeding, cuddles, lullabies.. She will still only sleep while being fed or gently moved and patted and wake up right away if placed down, unless it's close to midnight - then she stays asleep even after being put down. The time also changes everyday, no matter how consistent i am. Anything from half 9 to midnight.

It also has no bearing how much or how little she's slept during the day. It's all v random.

So how do i help her fall sleep at roughly the same sane time everyday (by 8.30 maybe) by herself and stay asleep. Until we join her a few hours later?

How do i help her sleep by herself at set times during the day?

Sorry about how long this post is.

I've been trying since 2 months and I'm getting quite discouraged as i am unable to find any advice from anyone who has a similar setup. I wonder if it's possible with my style of parenting (bed sharing, no bottle, no separate room meant for play or sleep).

Where I'm from, this is culturally the norm.

Please help ladies!