I am so sad and so jealous right now... don’t get me wrong, I am unbelievably happy for my best friend, but I am sad for me.

She just got engaged. Her and her boyfriend have been together 4 years and she’s been dropping hints about getting engaged forever. Anytime my boyfriend and I hang out with them, it’s an ongoing joke about when it’s going to happen. Well it finally happened, and I’m happy for her...

But me and boyfriend have been together going on 7 years. We just graduated college and we’re moving out of state for a job my bf got. We have 2 dogs and have lived together for 3 years. We talk about getting married all the time, he says he just doesn’t have the money to buy me the ring I want until he gets his job. (The ring is $2300, and very unique. It’s yellow gold, and has a salt and pepper diamond).

My other best friend got engaged and married less than a year of knowing her mean husband, but that was only because she got pregnant 1 month into that relationship. Her husband is a jerk and told me “oh, when you know you know - your bf must not be ready or you guys aren’t right for each other”.

All my friends from high school are either married, engaged, or have multiple kids and I’m over here, feeling like I haven’t accomplished much or have anything to show for it. I know I shouldn’t compare my life to others, but this past week 3 friends have gotten engaged and it’s breaking my heart that it isn’t me.

I hate myself for feeling this way. I really do. I told my best friend I was so so happy for her because I am, she deserves this! I would never act or say I wasn’t, or make her feel bad for progressing in her relationship.

Im just in my feelings right now I guess. Almost 7 years and I still have a “boyfriend”. I feel like that word is dumb to use at this point. Idk... :( sorry for my vent session. I’d feel like a monster talking to my real friends.