Mother who just doesn’t get it

Karim

We live in a tiny ass 1bedroom apartment. Our place can seem cluttered because we have so much stuff. It can be together but always seem like there’s stuff in different places because we have a 2yr old and a newborn!!

My son turned 2 end of September and it seemed like that same week he started tantrums and he already started acting a little different we (my husband and mother) all felt like “WOAH” because he was still himself but you can literally see the growth spurt!

I had also been pregnant since March, and was Due December 2nd with our newborn! So we all knew it’d be a big transition for all of us bringing in a new baby.

I’ve attachment parent our son since day 1 and has never been away from us longer than just a short sleepover with my mother who literally lives next door to us! He loves it there, always hangs out, and she helps out so much!

He was at my moms house for 2 nights and 3 days (which was the longest he’s been away from us) because I was giving birth to new baby!

He was very excited when we came home and loves his baby sister but of course here comes the struggle with transitioning... since being home with baby he seems very overwhelmed with emotions so it’s been more tantrums, he’s even more clingy times 10 towards me especially, and he’s had emotional outbursts. So far we’re only 3 weeks in since having baby.

My mom now is all extra worried about him. Saying “something is wrong with him” he never acts like this. And I keep explaining to her that it’s normal and we’re giving him the same attention while adding in new baby to make it easier but it’s still a struggle. And she thinks it’s cuz we have a lot of stuff in our apartment which isn’t the case. We do have really good days which makes me feel good and confident about being a stay at home mom with two now. But he has his moments.

But she’s fighting me on it. Like our son is spoiled (in a good way) we give him everything and treat him special. And just cuz I was telling my mom that my husband brought me coffee in the morning after being up with my newborn AND toddler in the middle of the night and she was like “what did he get Cj” (our son) and I’m like he gets everything and he knows we drink coffee in the morning. 🙄🙄🙄

I’ve sent articles about tantrums and toddler development, and also our play date buddies have been going through the same things with their toddlers being two now and 1 having a new baby sibling as well. And she still refuses to believe that a toddler can “act like that” 🙃🙃🙃

What else can I do to make her understand that it’s just about us trying to teach him how to express his feelings!

273 views • 0 upvotes • 8 comments

COMMENT (8)

Sa

Posted at
I would just drop the convo if she starts talking about it or brings it up. Sounds like you have said all proof or whichever to her and it doesn’t change. Just ignore it.

Be

Posted at
First off, the main reason your son is acting this way it's because the new baby. You can tell the jealousy and the attention he is seeking and he is expressing them through tantrums. However, you need to lay out boundaries to your child and help him with his transition instead of waiting for it to fade.

Lo

Posted at
The first three months with a new baby and a toddler are the hardest for them. Around 3 month mark my daughter kinda accepted ok this is just how it’s going to be and slowly, oh so slowly the tantrums started to become less frequent.

Ka

Karim • Jan 2, 2020
That’s good to know!

K

Posted at
My mother started on that path and has mental health and substance issues (so a whole other layer)... she was going to try and take my kids. So it makes my stomach churn when I hear stories like this. Not everyone is crazy like my mom, but it definitely sounds like you need to set some boundaries. They don’t get to parent your children. Especially if they’re in a healthy home.

K

K • Dec 30, 2019
*back to grandmas and she needs to stay out of it!

K

K • Dec 30, 2019
It sounds like maybe he needs to stay home for an adjustment period before he goes nack

Ka

Karim • Dec 30, 2019
Right!! She’s really good with him and trying her best to be better with him than how she was with myself and my brother growing up. But she’s being so extra is sicknening