Ready to throw in the towel and just be done with it all.. the cheating, the mental, emotion and physical attacks daily. The kids being made on the side. The it’s almost over and then it can be just us, the we’re getting married next year and every next year there is always a reason and an excuse to keep doing what’s being done. The stress, just everything the last ten years, all of the bullshit.

I keep holding on, I keep staying strong, I keep preying it will change and get better. Year after year, day after day.

Buy why? Why do I do it? Why when I know I’m better then what I’m getting? Why when I know my happiness is way more important. Why when my girls are growing up thinking this is how it they should be treated? Why when I live in fear daily.

Because I’m weak minded from being degraded. Because I have no more self confidence. Because the thought of being alone is very scary. Because my children deserve to have their father in the home. Because my children growing up with both parents is more important to me then my own well being and happiness. Because I don’t want and won’t have no one other man then him.

Update:

He don’t physically hit me, physically is my self harm. Pinching my legs when I’m upset. I’ve done it my whole life but I’m always upset so I’m already pinching my legs