Would you stick by your alcoholic husband?

Question

We are separated right now, and his plan of action is to “get his drinking under control” but not stop completely. I am very new to this as I’ve never known anyone else with a drinking problem. I would say he’s a “functioning alcoholic” according to google. Are alcoholics supposed to NEVER drink again? Or is it possible to get it under control to where they can drink like ‘normal people’? 
If this was your husband, and you had kids together, would you stay with him and try to help him? Or just leave?

Answer

It would really depend on the situation. Is he ever violent towards you or your children? If he showed any signs of violence or abuse I would leave. However if he’s able to hold a job and manage his day to day life I would stay and start counseling and make him start counseling to try and help him and work it out.

Answer

Word of advice it’s no getting under control an alcoholic has to stop completely. Especially if it leads to seperation. I would tell him it’s either him not drink or there is no longer a marriage.

Answer

This was my husband. He's now my ex husband for very good reason. Alcoholics are always alcoholics. It truly doesn't matter if he never hits you or isn't abusive to your kids or family. The toll addiction takes on the addict and all those close to them is huge. If he can't get sober and commit to sobriety then you shouldn't go back.

Answer

Honestly, if hes an alcoholic and wants to get it "under control" he has to stop drinking 100%  there is no "a little bit". I'm going thru this right now for the most part. If I knew then what I knew now, I'd leave. I never would have stayed or started a relationship.

Answer

It depends on what he is doing when he drinks. If it is causing a bad environment for you and the kids the you need to go. If he has a drinking problem he will not be able to control it for very long. If alcohol is causing problems he needs to stop. I have been in your boat before. My husband quit drinking 7 months ago. I dont think I could stay if he ever started back again.

Answer

I’m with a recovering alcoholic, I’m also a recovering addict. It’s an all or nothing deal. If he’s “functioning” right now that might seem fine, but odds are it will just get worse. My fiancé went to treatment for 30 days and saved his life. If he’s actually addicted it’s very very dangerous to detox on his own, he needs to go into an actual treatment center if he’s serious.

Answer

I went through five and a half years of living hell with my fiancé. We’re talking blank out wasted smashed 4 days a week while I raised his kids full time and managed our household. He didn’t work, didn’t help around the house, never physically cheated but was emotionally detached and honestly probably would have had he had the chance. Our son walked in on him trying to slit his wrists in the bath tub because his depression was out of control. The fights were getting physical in the sense I had taken to dumping vodka bottles out and he’d wrestle me for them as I threw them across the house. 
Needless to say I packed my shit and left. Left him, left our kids, left our home. My job wasn’t to change him but to stand up for what I deserved in a relationship. It was his choice to change, to get the help he needed if he so chose. 
He’s going on 7 months sober. The first time off of all alcohol and substances since he was in high school. Our relationship is better than ever and we are truly learning about each other and falling in love all over again. We’re playful and I can ask for what I need and he LISTENS. We went from having zero intimacy or sex for three years, and now can’t get enough of each other. We’re working on finding things we enjoy like going to the gym and healthier outlets. He is an incredible father, and is more present then ever. I have my partner back and our life back. 
My answer to your question is that your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being come first and foremost. Stand your ground on what you deserve and need and get out of his way. He will either self destruct or sober up. Either way he wont make a decision until you let him, on his own.

Answer

My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been struggling with sobriety and has been to rehab a few times in the last year and seeks counseling on almost a weekly basis. I just support him, he seeked help on his own and it wasn’t an issue in our relationship. He would be classified as a functioning alcoholic too, he’s a foreman on a job site and a great husband. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t naive, I saw the empty bottles under the sink. I would calmly mention from time to time I was concerned they were emptying quick.

Answer

My partner is an alcoholic... 
I'm still with him!
He struggled for YEARS, he is a "functioning alcoholic"...
He has caused a lot of problems in his life & has physically attacked me from blacking out drunk and being angry.
 
He thought there was no problem, he realised he was wrong!
It took him realising I was leaving him cos he attacked me in our new home. He could have lost his licence, could have killed someone driving to work & could have killed someone at work with the crane he drove ontop of losing his girlfriend.
He had to completely stop drinking. They cannot control their alcohol like a "normal person"
My partner went to AA and realised he is a problem drinker & can't just stop at 1 or 2. They just don't know when enough is enough.
He has stopped drinking and has been sober for many months.
He has had one or two recently and had a glass of wine over Christmas. I have never told him he can't drink, just want him to be able to understand that having a glass of wine IS enough.
Your husband MUST go sober and stop completely, understand and respect the drug.
My parents & siblings hate my partner, but he is the most amazing person and I was never willing to give up on him.
Because he's my family and I love him. 
I would do anything for him to make sure he doesn't destroy his life.
If you need to message me, please feel free ❤❤

Answer

As others have said, I really think it depends on what he is like and what the environment is like when he's drinking. My father was an alcoholic, but no one outside my immediate family knew. He never had a problem with his job, kept it for 20ish years and was a top employee.
He was a good father during the day, but as soon as he started drinking it all went downhill. He was never violent, but very sloppy. He drove my pregnant mother around drunk. He drove me home drunk when I was about 8 and got arrested. When my mom gave him the ultimatum of us or his alcohol, he left. I could never stay with my husband if he was like that, and will never understand how my mother stayed with him for as long as she did. 
Now, my husband drinks but there is a difference. He doesn't NEED to, doesn't get smashed, and really doesn't act any differently when he does have a few. It's just here and there.
I don't know the extent of your situation, but you know what you can handle and what's best for your kids. Good luck 💜

Would you stick by your alcoholic husband?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey