Whats your take on this?

Question

So I'm entering the third trimester with my 2nd son and my DH and I have a name we want to use but it will potentially start drama. When naming our 1st it was between Oliver and Beckhem, we chose Oliver and decided the next would be Beckhem. We didnt tell anyone about our name options just that we decided on Oliver. So last year my BIL's GF's got into it about baby names. It was about the name Beckett. One of the gf's who is now engaged to my BIL got really upset about the other gf wanting to use Beckett if she has a boy one day. Keep in mind that neither of these women are TTC. I hate the name claiming crap but I'm hesitating bout using the name I love that's so similar because my FSIL has fertility issues, she has to have IVF and even then was told that its a massive long shot. So on one hand Beckett might never get used but on the other I think the name may gives her hope. So am I a complete bitch for naming my 2nd son who is due in April Beckhem, which is what we planned on a few years ago before all the crap happened between my FSIL and the other GF? I love the name Beckhem, we have no other names that we can settle on and believe me when have gone through every list on Pinterest or naming app that you can imagine but nothing compares to Beckhem for us. I kinda just want to wait to announce the name until we have filled oit the birth certificate so there is no debate, whats done is done sort of thing. Honestly very torn considering the circumstances. Give me your opinions ladies, I know you wont hold back lol!

Answer

I would use it.  They're different names!😋 That being said, have you thought about Beckham?  I feel like you'll be in an uphill battle correcting the spelling with an "E."

Answer

I am in the minority. While I 100% don't think you would be doing anything wrong by using it I would probably just find another name to avoid the drama and maybe look at it as a kindness to them and preservation of my own sanity. Again, I agree that name claiming is stupid and you would absolutely not be in the wrong for using it but the stress wouldn't be worth it to me.

Answer

In a situation like this I wouldn’t use it if it were the same, but they’re different so I’d use it. If it was my sister in law I would find it cute our kids would have names like that :) it sounds like something someone would name twin boys. There’s also no telling whether or not she’ll have a boy if she does get pregnant. I wouldn’t offer up the fact they’re similar lol but if she says something just react how you feel is appropriate

Answer

I personally would talk to them about it. Just kinda get their vibe and feelings. But ultimately, even if they’re shitty about it, you can still do whatever you want. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to talk to them about it though so they’re not blindsided thinking you “stole” a name.

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If you’re stressed why don’t you talk to her about it? Take it from there. I think the conversation could be done in a sensitive way and she would probably appreciate it and give you her blessing.

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They’re two different names. Similar yes, but not the same. I’d still use it.

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Use it! It's not even the same name and it's been soemthing you guys thought about since your first born.

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Id just use it, especially since it wasnt an A &B convo between you and her... its a different name anyway she can still use the name she likes if she even has a boy.. it may be a girl... would you not use jonathan cus someone likes jonah? Brody cus someone likes bradley?🤷🏻‍♀️

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I would just use it if you don’t feel settled on anything else. I personally would not bring it up to them, they will probably react in a negative way about it and then it will make you upset and cause hurt feelings between you guys if you’re still set on using the name after they tell you they aren’t ok with it. It’s sad that they are going through fertility issues, but you never know if they will even have a boy, and people change their minds about names all the time :)

Answer

They’re different names so I think it’s ok... but I would maybe sit down with her and ask her how she feels. Better to talk with her about it instead of just naming him and having her find out later

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