It’s been 50 hours since my boyfriend ended it just two days after our 8 month anniversary. He said he just can’t, and that he needs time to be obligated to no one but himself. I feel like in the last few days I was a little too clingy, because he was hurting and I felt like I was losing him, and he swears I did nothing wrong, but I still can't help but feel like this was my fault in someway. He even told me that after a couple weeks to a month or so, he may be ready for a relationship again, and I want that, so bad, even though I know I shouldn’t wait around for him. Like I still feel an obligation to him. My mom is not helping matters at all, saying I'm not allowed to get back with him and continuously calling him a loser and toxic and scum and saying he never loved me, saying that if he did love me he wouldn't need to take the time to himself. He is not a bad person in any way and I love everything about him. The only issues we had ever had were over his ex continuously bothering him while he was with me, and he cut her off because he saw how it was affecting me. He never hid anything from me, he would tell me if he was dreaming of or thinking about his ex. He would assure me that I was the only one for him. He was the only person who ever hyped up my looks no matter what. He showed me his softer side, and the way we talked to each other in a way we talked to no one else. We would talk almost childishly, saying "I sleepy", "I loves you", "Text me when u wakey", "I sorry", and etc. He managed to make me feel the best I ever have. He pushed me to get the mental help I needed before I ended up severely hurting myself or worse. My mom says I never knew him because it was an ldr, but tell me then, why I was able to write whole pages on him, and would have done more. Tell me why then that I knew then that shorter responses and less letters in his texts meant he was upset. Tell me why I know that he loved sunsets so much, that I cry every time I see one now. There were so many things I never got to tell him. I'm not big on compliments, but I was going to tell him for the first time ever that I think he's cute, and ask if I could make him my lock screen. He was saving money to come see me, we had our whole future planned out. I mean we're both young but we were so sure of each other. We constantly called the other perfect, and his personality clicked with mine so well that I knew I liked him from the moment I met him. Of all my 7 exes, he's the only one I want back, the only one I ever saw myself having a future with. He's my first love, and while I wasn't his first, I was his longest relationship. I was more open with him than anybody. He hates most girls, so I know it wasn't another girl that was the underlying reason for him leaving, he even said he's gonna come back. I don't want anyone but him, he made me feel so good inside, made me cry the happiest tears I ever have... and now the saddest tears I ever have. He was toxic in no way, my mom says he was "disrespectful" for calling me names sometimes, but I cleared up with him that it was out of love not toxicity. I called him names sometimes just my mom

never saw those texts. He called me Rosey because Rose is my middle name and he wanted a unique thing to call me. I only want to be called anything by him. He was also my best friend. I just miss him a lot, and can't see myself moving on. Am i being stupid? Is there any chance he might come back? I really want him to as I can't see my life without this boy. I'm not going to wait around on him, just I want no one else 😣.