Is being a STAHM supposed to be easy?

Question

My fiancé keeps telling me I have it easy being a STAHM with only one infant who blessedly gives us full nights sleep and don’t cry as much. We just moved into a new house, my job is paying me well with maternity leave, and I’m only paying utilities on the house. I sound like I’m living the dream but why is it so hard for me to keep up? 
We just had an argument that I don’t give my fiancé time nor do I give him my feelings when supposedly, I have all the time in the world and that “any woman would tell me that I have it easy and even he can do my job with his eyes closed.” I feel like Im doing stuff all throughout the day only to sit down at the end of the day thinking “what the hell did I do all day?” I’m just entering PP depression and im stressing myself out crying bc I feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m starting to take pain killers bc I’m aching emotionally/physically and generally, I would refuse pain killers. Hell, I even refused painkillers at first after I pushed out my baby lol. 
My therapist is now further away and I can’t just swoop up and go to her bc of the baby. I need unbiased responses please. Do you think I have it good and shouldn’t feel like this and I should push more? What do you mamas do to get through the day?

Answer

Being a SAHM is hard as fuck. I've been a working mom and a SAHM and a SAHM is a thousand times harder. It never stops. Ever. You are guaranteed no breaks. If he feels it's so easy, go have a fun day on his day off. Go out in the morning and just relax and spend you time. Come back later that evening. Which he should be doing occasionally anyway, honestly

Answer

First of all it's really shitty for your partner, the one who's supposed to have your back and be supportive and be there for you to rely on, tell you that your feelings aren't valid because HE thinks you have it easy. Having a baby, especially for the first time, is a huge monumental lifestyle change. Not to mention making a new routine, your hormones, and the responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive. It's a JOB and it's a hard one. If he can't be sensitive to that and be there for you, to help out around the house and comfort you, you really need to sit down and have a serious talk. 
It's possible he has stuff going on he's not knowing how to communicate so a talk could be beneficial... However he still needs to be a supportive partner. 
So I recommend communicating all these things to him, and if he won't listen, give couple's counseling a try. If he refuses to work on your relationship and grow with you as a couple and as a parental team, then you have some serious choices to make before you commit to spending the rest of your life with him. (I know marriage doesn't always work that way but I strongly believe that should be the goal, otherwise what's the point)

Answer

No .no one ever said being a sahm is supposed to be easy. Your day never ends , there is always something to clean some one to feed, some one need help with school work another needs a nap and the other has to be at soccer in 5 mins and oh to top it off my spouse is out of town for work till late Friday night soOo no it’s not easy . Buuut I never expected it to be easy.... yes it’s hectic stressful and some days I am just over it all but I keep pushing and know I’m raising growing budding flowers who learn from the way I handle things and the ways I present my self. With that being saidddd my other half is a amazing he makes sure I get breaks. When he is home he helps with our children’s and treats me amazing. You need to find a balance between being mom and being you . You shouldnt lose your self because you become a mom. Being mom is just a sweet extension on top the person you already are! Please sit your spouse down and tell him what you need and what will help you! Best of luck!

Answer

I’m a SAHM to three! I struggled with the same emotions you are with my first! I had horrible PPD and just fell so behind in house work! My husband was amazing though, he attended counseling with me to better understand and helped me find ways to get out and about. We started doing a 30 minute walk everyday, then grocery shopping once a week! I finally started going to the park with her and it got easier. Once I felt better I started a schedule with cleaning and playing and outings. Since then I have been able to maintain our home and not get too overwhelmed. I would be lying if I didn’t feel overwhelmed sometimes. 
My husband had the kids for a week and admitted it was harder than he expected!!

Answer

Nope, not easy at all. I used to work 60+ hours a week - on my feet the whole time, and I can honestly say that was easier than being a SAHM. Now I'm mostly a SAHM, but I work about 12 hours a week (3, 4 hour shifts) and I consider those 12 hours of work to be my "break." When going to work is a "break" from being a SAHM, you know being a SAHM is harder 😂
Like someone else said, I'd make plans to leave for the day on one of his days off. Leave him a list of things that need done. Have it include when to feed the baby, diaper changes, naps, etc. Along with washing dishes, doing a load of laundry, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathroom. As well as having dinner ready for you when you get home. Guaranteed, he won't be able to do it.

Answer

Fuuuuck that guy. If it’s so easy, give him the baby for a weekend and see how long it takes him to blow up your phone asking for help. He sounds like an entitled jerk.

Answer

No it’s not supposed to be easy. No one who’s been a SAHM (or a stay at home parent bc men do it too) says it’s easy. My husband didn’t fully understand how much work it was to stay home all day with the baby until I returned to work full time and he started spending some days alone with our son. He had a whole new appreciation for what I did (mind you I still wake up with the baby, feed him breakfast, prepare his meals for the day, pick up groceries after work and make dinner for the two of us every single night after my long day of work. So he doesn’t even know the half of it 😂). But I think I would personally still take being a SAHM over a working mom any day because, though it is SO HARD, I miss spending my days with my son. I get jealous that other people get to experience his firsts and get the joy of being with him. I personally rather be stressed out, exhausted and under appreciated at home rather than being stressed out, exhausted and under appreciated at work 😂 But financially it doesn’t make sense for us for me to leave my job.

Answer

Wait you said your job is paying you well while you’re on maternity leave? So you’re just at home temporarily due to just having a baby and approved for maternity leave before you go back to work? I would hardly call that a stay at home mom.. you are recovering from birth and bonding with a new baby!

Answer

I have worked different demanding jobs and being a SAHM is the hardest Ive ever worked. I work almost 24 hours a day as a breastfeeding mom to a child that doesn’t sleep through the night. Even if he slept through the night you work every minute of the day anticipating and tending to another person’s needs. It’s EXHAUSTING. I have gone days without even looking in a mirror. I have had weeks where I struggle to find time to brush my own hair. It is exhausting.

Answer

I hated being a stay at home mom. My ex husband never understood why the house wasn't spotless every day or why some days dinner wasnt on the table for him. It was exhausting and there are no guarantees your going to have enough time to do everything plus watch a baby and even more so when they are toddling around getting in to everything. Its not easy.

Is being a STAHM supposed to be easy?

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