Ruining my marriage

You two need to remember that you guys are a team. This day and age people are so quick to get a divorce the second something doesn’t seem to be all laughs and giggles. Life gets hard, but just make sure to show that you appreciate him for working so hard. Maybe he feels under appreciated. He works all day and then you tell him he’s not doing enough. It’s hard but as a team yall need to be compromising and he needs to be helping. It’s his baby too. And some men don’t seem to understand that a stay at home mom job isn’t easy. Especially with a newborn baby. Try to talk calmly. Don’t lose your temper or get so frustrated. Fire and fire creates more fire. Y’all can get through this ❤️ this is a rough transition in life and a ton of responsibility comes with it. Stay calm and collected even if it seems nearly impossible at this point. Try to bring love into difficult conversations ❤️

Adding a baby to your family changes everything. Both of your roles have changed and it’s ok to be confused/unsure/tired/sad/etc! However, you both need to sit down and have some calm honest convo about what you both need. I had to really learn that my partner is not a mind reader and I cannot expect him to do things if I don’t ask. However, I don’t think giving up on your marriage is the only option. Marriage gets freaking hard sometimes but you need to lean on each other to evolve and grow. I’d suggest seeking help together to learn how to best communicate with one another.

You have to make time for each other, even just to talk and catch up throughout the day. Nobody is THAT busy with a baby that they don’t even have time to talk to anyone. It’s a stressful time and it takes adjusting. You have to both be honest with each other. You both have unresolved feelings going on and neither of you are trying to fix it by the sounds of it. It takes effort. Don’t assume he knows how u feel because odds are, he doesn’t. If the conversation always turns into an argument then that’s not a accomplishing anything except resentment. Actually listen to each other. Try to meet the other persons needs without feeling like you deserve you needs met more or something. Try to see things from the others point of view. PPD is something you should bring up to your doctor, and to your husband. Maybe if he were more aware of what it entails he would be more understanding. Sounds like neither of u feel like your needs are being met, so change that if you want to be happy and if he wants to be happy. Things will start falling into place better now that baby is 3months and you are probably getting into a new life routine. But no matter what, take 5 minutes by yourselves and just hang out. Show each other you care. And don’t assume he can read your mind cause he can’t.

Adding a baby to a relationship is hard. It’s a HUGE learning curve especially for mothers as we, by nature, want to care for our baby at all times. Although that is great, many times we forget about our marriage in the meantime. Then our husband and marriage gets neglected while we feel like we’re doing everything causing both parties to resent one another. Communication declines and even comes to an end and the cycle just continues. Been there. Done that.So how do you change it?! Well, you’ve taken your first step in recognizing PPD and you should be really proud of yourself as that can be a hard thing to admit. Along with this, you both need to start communicating and working together as a team. I’ve always struggled with my communication skills and this was best achieved with us through counseling. There were so many things both my husband and I needed from one another that got lost in the shuffle and proper communication identified these. Lastly, you’ve got to make time for one another. It’s totally okay to put your baby down and love on your husband some. You both need it. Our children learn from us and that includes what a healthy relationship looks like. Go on a date, hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle etc. Keep your chin up, Momma. Soooo many people face this battle. Go back to your roots...what made you fall in love with each other. Start there and take the rest day by day. You’ve got this ❤️

Sometimes a marriage counselor can really help facilitate conversation when at home you might just end up yelling at each other. Might be nice to take a couple hours for a sitter (I know baby is little yet, but your marriage is important!), grab a quick meal and have a therapy session. You are in a really tough life transition and with possible PPD on top of that! Sending you hugs!

The first three months are the most difficult. It gets better as the new normal settles in. Hugs to you, mama.

Definitely open the lines of communication. My husband and I had a hard time for the first few months and it was HARD. He was actually suffering from severe depression so I was taking care of baby alone. It gets better. You also need to go see a doctor about your PPD. You may start to feel less stressed when you take better care of yourself. It takes getting used to when your life and marriage change just hang in there.