So we’ve been saving every penny for my visa so I can stay in the UK with him, and have our baby here. After a few attempts at looking at his bank account, I made a serious request - saying if you don’t let me see me your bank statements this will cause a big rift between us.

He admitted to not saving the money we’ve been planning and blowing it gambling. He said he just wanted to fix everything on his own before telling me. He said he has people that will let us borrow what we need. So he does have it taken care of - but he still lied to me for weeks.

The thing is I’m not mad. We both have spending problems and this is our first time attempting to fix it - and we’re only really doing it since we finally got pregnant. He made a mistake but I still trust him. I know he’ll always have my back. He’d go sell drugs or something if he had to, he always make sure I don’t go without.

Im not good with anger and emotions, so I know I should be mad. I know I can’t let him think this was okay. I did tell him if it happens again I’ll be leaving him, but I just want to make sure I’m handling the situation right. I want us to have a happy marriage and raise our children into a warm welcoming and supportive environment. I’m now 100% in charge of our finances and since my only problem was ordering food too much, I know I can handle it and budget properly for a good future.

I’m the list maker and budgeter in the relationship - but i used to only really budget to see how much I could spend lol. I’ve been showing him our budgets for weeks and planning everything, and he just say there letting me waste my time while lying to me about blowing his whole paycheck and now we have to pay it back in a few months. We can afford to pay it all back it wasn’t a crazy amount of money - but why let me waste all that time planning.

Sorry for the rant, I don’t have any friends and don’t really want to talk to his family about it.