Will I ever be ready for a second baby?

I would like to know how other people decided on having their second child. My son will be two in March and my husband & I have talked about having another baby but unfortunately I don’t feel as excited this time. I prayed and prayed for our first baby.

I’m an only child so I think I’m scared I don’t know how I’ll do with two kids... i also had a terrible pregnancy and PPA. My anxiety is still bad and I hear it can just get worse with two.

I also feel like I’m going to disappoint my husband. He’s such a good father and I’d love him to have more children but idk if I can mentally handle it.

When we decided to wait a while all of a sudden I’m thinking what If we just kinda go with the flow and if I get pregnant it’s meant to be. If not then oh well?

I’m scared I’ll regret it if I don’t get pregnant and I’ll regret it if I do. It’s very very conflicting. I don’t want to deprive my son of a sibling but I also know our marriage comes first.

Also I feel this pressure because I’m 31... I don’t want to wait too much longer and every birth control I try gives me the worst mood swings so if we decided we will only have one child my husband would get a vasectomy.

Anyone having these feelings?