Is he treating our daughter badly?

My husband doesn’t spend much time with our daughter. She’s almost 4. Neither of us do, and I’m working on it. But he’s, in my opinion getting to be ridiculous. Here’s some examples.

• If she doesn’t eat dinner, she doesn’t get snack. That’s what we agreed on, but when she doesn’t eat, he will torment her and be like “no icecream for you! Your brother can have some.” She’ll be looking at him and he’ll tell her to get out of his face.

• If she’s quietly playing with toys, not even making a mess and he’s cleaning, he won’t clean around her. He takes all her toys away and tells her she not allowed to play and forces her to clean and yells at her instead of helping her.

• He constantly tells her to stop talking because she’s being “annoying”

• he threatens to put her in the corner or smack her butt and yells at her over EVERYTHING

• He never smiles when he looks at her. Honestly, he doesn’t. With our one year old, he’s always smiling at everything he does but our daughter will come in with the biggest smile because she dressed herself or something and he will just blankly stare at her.

• today, he kept telling her to sit on the floor. For absolutely no reason at all. She kept asking why and then saying no. He yelled at her and made her cry. I went out there and he was like “I’m making her listen” then went on about how if she doesn’t listen to something that simple there’s a problem. She’s not a fucking dog!!

These are only a few. We have fought over and over and over about this. He just gets defensive or says he will be better then doesn’t. But when I bring up leaving because I can’t handle a man who treats his kid like that he flips out and it starts a huge fight. Absolutely nothing I do makes him get it. She’s going to hate him and it will be too late. He’s a great father to our son but not her and I’m not saying he’s always like that. There’s times here and there where he does play with her or something but more times than not, he’s like that.

He says it’s because she’s annoying, she doesn’t listen, she talks back. But she’s not worse than any 3 year old I’ve ever met. It’s normal.

I don’t know what to do anymore.