At 36+4 I’ve had the last 31 weeks to think about how this pregnancy is going/has gone.

So I wrote a list. A list of things I wish I would’ve heard before getting pregnant.

- there are days when you won’t feel pregnant at all. Especially in the beginning. Aka, symptoms come and go and it’s totally normal.

- cravings can be really weird, and they are not always food oriented.

- it’s okay to be miserable. It’s okay to not be happy, and to question if this is what you want.

- it’s okay to be embarrassed, especially with how often people will be seeing you naked/going into your vagina with speculums and swabs, and fingers and hands galore.

- bv, yeast infections, utis, they are more normal now than before! Having them does not make you nasty/does not mean you have bad hygiene.

- it’s okay not to cry. Everyone talks about how emotional they are, and people always assume it’s crying. It’s okay for your emotion to be...lacking.

- it’s okay for you to not process something, or everything. It’s okay to ask for help, and you may actually need it.

- you’ll get itchy. And sometimes you’ll get so itchy it’ll sound cute. (Pupps)

- STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE!

- CALL YOUR DOCTOR. harass the nurses! If something doesn’t feel right, if you don’t understand something that was said, if you feel any kind of question/concern, call them! You do NOT have to wait for your next appointment. (Especially in the beginning when they are only once a month)

- if you don’t like how any member of the medical teams who help you, treat you, complain. Reach out to the nursing managers, their hr, anyone. They are there to help, not there to belittle, guilt, or impose their own opinions on matters that they don’t get to have one in.

- if your obgyn is not the right fit, especially after you’ve become pregnant, don’t be afraid, no matter how far you are, to transfer obs.

- just because half of your friends or even all of them, had blissful, easy pregnancies, doesn’t mean yours will be. And if your pregnancy is difficult, don’t let others belittle how you feel.

- if you have a hard pregnancy, you are entitled to feel the way you do. You are entitled to be angry, jealous, you are entitled to feel desperate and empty. No one can tell you that your feelings are invalid. They aren’t the one going through it. You are. Just make sure that once that baby is born, or even before that you seek help if those feelings get overwhelming.

- let yourself feel it. Let yourself feel empty, let yourself feel distant, let yourself feel happy, let yourself feel excited. Let yourself feel.

- if someone is having a worse pregnancy than you, or they can’t get pregnant. Do NOT let them weigh you down, enjoy your pregnancy! Enjoy every kick, every ultrasound, every exciting high light.

- if you tell someone, or many even, that you want them in your room when you pop that baby out of your vagina, and then you change your mind. Don’t be afraid to tell them. and if you are, ask the nurses when you get there to kick out everyone during the actual delivery. You have the right to change your mind.

- if you wanna have a big, fancy pants baby shower, or gender reveal, do it. Don’t let anyone tell you “there’s always next time” because there may not be. Don’t let anyone tell you, you don’t need one. It’s not a need, it’s a want. And youre entitled to that experience.

- YOU and your partner (or maybe just you!) get to decide how “extra” you want/get to be. I have ALOT of laid back mom “friends” moms who didn’t do the nursery, who didn’t do the noise machines, the baby cameras. Who didn’t want a mamaroo, or really any swing. And I let them tell me tell me up to Two weeks ago, that I’m being “extra” for even wanting any of those things. Most people have the same reaction “those aren’t extra mom things” but to some moms, they are.

- just because somebody has been a mom for longer time than you have, does not automatically make them the all know-er of every single thing. Whether that’s pregnancy, or baby raising.

- you are allowed to say no. Whether that’s to somebody touching your belly, to somebody demanding updates when they don’t deserve them or you just don’t feel comfortable giving them, whether it’s receiving specific types of medical care you’re allowed to say no. You are allowed to say I don’t want that, I don’t need that, or just no.

- you are NOT required to provide a reason for anything you do. you want to vaccinate your kids and somebody doesn’t like that? Tough luck it’s not their kid. you wanna circumcise your son, and they are against that? Tough luck it ain’t their kid.

- if your doctor tells you something and somebody, whether it’s your own mom, your best friend, your partner, really anyone, tries to tell you differently or tries to tell you that your doctor is wrong unless you feel like they may be wrong you don’t have to listen to them. You do not have to agree. 

What are some things you wish you had known prior to pregnancy?