Feeling lost

I’m about to be done with this “breastfeeding” I mean it’s not like I actually am anyways. I can’t even remember the last time he actually latched to me. Should have NEVER let anyone give him a bottle so early. The heck is the point all I do is pump all day long. It’s a waste of my goddamn time now. There’s no connection like I wanted I lost it because of the stupid bottles and I know I’m not wrong cause he gets mad that my milk doesn’t come out as fast as the damn bottles so it’s useless now and I’m pissed cause I’ve always wanted to do this and can’t. At this point I’ve been in tears because of it. I feel useless now!

No I haven’t talked to lactation because there’s nothing they are gonna tell me I haven’t already heard before. “Try this” “do that” my let down isn’t fast enough for him so he just gets too frustrated and doesn’t do anything but scream on my nipple until I give him a bottle then he’s find