I feel like my whole pregnancy has been a total nightmare 😭 I had a high risk pregnancy from the start. I found out I was pregnant pretty early (around 3-4 weeks), bleeding, underweight, seeing my OBGYN every week, blood test every week, high and seeing the risk doctor twice. My morning sickness was so bad I lost 20 lbs. I was put on disability and bed rest for the first trimester.

I thought I was gonna go crazy 😭😖

Second trimester comes along and everyone was getting better. I was about to go around, eat anything I craved. BUT my boyfriend was getting wild. He didn’t communicate with me, distant himself, partied everyday, lied about things/kept things from me. I know him so well that I just knew what he was up too.

Now I’m in my third trimester. I feel like I can’t go any longer. My stomach is stretching to the max and I’m very petite. I went into the hospital cause of bleeding at 29 weeks. They told me i had a short cervix, contraction started, baby wanted to come out probably cause I’m so petite and no room to grow. During the stay, I had the IV, Magnesium, steroid shots, blood test to test for magnesium level (4x), medication to soften my uterus, medication to stop contractions, vaginal cream, and a catheter put in.

I feel out of control. I feel tired. I feel stressed. I been on restricted bed rest. No driving, no walking, no nothing. 7 different medication everyday - some twice a day.

I was told to move up my baby shower date because the doctor doesn’t think baby would stay pass 36-38 weeks. Nothing is planned.

I’m not ready.