If you want to read the beautiful dream birthing stories, you may want to skip this one. Sorry if my journey scares some of the mama's out there who are yet to give birth. If you continue reading just know that you've got this. It may be hard but it is truly worth it ❤❤❤❤

I was 39 weeks when my baby decided it was time for her to meet us face-to-face.

It seemed like a normal day but by 11pm I had been having braxton hicks and they seemed really close together. I called the midwives to ask their advice. They said everything was fine and to try and get some rest. I went back to bed. At 1am I woke up and figured I may as well go to the bathroom while I was awake. Halfway down the hall I felt a little leak. I couldn't stop it.

I woke my husband and told him i thought my water broke. He bounded out of bed ready to go. I called the midwives to advise them of what was going on. They asked me to relax and calmly drive to hospital to get checked out. Surprisingly, I was calm on the 35 min drive to the hospital.

When we got to the maternity ward they checked me to make sure it was my water breaking (apparently it's common at this point for women to wet their pants and think their water broke). My water had broken. I was strep b positive so, they said they would need to induce me once they had a room free. At 7am they took me into a room and gave me a drip to induce me and some antibiotics.

As the contractions started quite gentle, i tried to remember all of the breathing techniques I had read. My husbands support and my breathing excercises got me a long way through as the contractions intensified. After a number of hours I was extremely tired and feeling like no amount of water was enough to keep me hydrsted. I think it was after 4pm when the midwives offered me the gas. While I didn't originally want to take anything, I was already immensely tired and the contractions were getting bad. I jumped at the offer. It was still more than 2hrs before we were at the pushing stage and the gas helped me stay calm. I still felt the contractions but the breathing of the gas gave me something to distract me (although at times I felt like I was a little spaced out and not sure if I was taking micro naps between contractions or just really out of it).

The midwives started to get concerned when <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>'s heart rate started to drop during contractions. She was only at +1 and I just couldn't seem to push her further out. That's when the horrible discussion came "we think we need to do an epesiotomy to get her out, her heart rate is dropping during contractions and it's not fully recovering". I bit the bullet and told them to do what was best for the baby. At the end od the day, she was all that mattered.

After some more pushing she finally emerged. Once they got her out they took her across the room to be suctioned. I could hear her cry and I knew she was ok.

Then it all got intense. Once I birthed thw placenta everythi g stepped up a notxh whole they tried to stop me bleeding. I remember wondering if I was going to die. They piled bloodied sheets and blankets on me as they tried to stop the bleeding. My husband was with the baby. He looked back to let me know she was ok. No matter what happened to me now, she was ok.

They finally got a doctor in to stitch me up. It was all so surreal but they managed to stop the bleeding.

That's when they brought <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> over to meet me. I cried... so many emotions running through me. I forgot the pain in that moment and there was just the love I had for my husband and my new little baby girl ❤

6 weeks post partum and I still haven't fully recovered but I know I am well on my way. There have been challenges along the way with breastfeeding and supply issues, cracked & bleeding nipples, and gastro just to name a few. Despite that <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> has gained back her birth weight and then quite a bit more after needing to supplement her feeds with a large amount of formula. Hopefully with our plan in place to increase my milk supply we will be eventually able to move to fully breastfed but, for the time being she is a happy and healthy baby ❤