I'm not sure if this will be long but its heavy, trigger warning for anyone that may need it.

So recently the police contacted me on behalf of someone that's no longer in my life and hasnt been for about 4 years now. Theyve asked me to give a statement about something that happened nearly 10 years ago I was a witness to, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk in detail about the case so I wont just to be safe.

My issue is the person that I've been asked to give a statement for really, like REALLY fucked me up.

When I was 14, she had a guy in his mid 20s come to her place and agreed to let him "have sex" with me in return for alcohol and cigarettes, she was older than me, 16/17 at the time. Well that situation basically ended up with her getting me ridiculously drunk before he arrived and then topping me off to near black out point once he had and he proceeded to handcuff and rape me (he was/is a prison guard so they were police grade handcuffs) I remember the whole thing, I was so scared I sobered up straight away when he pulled my jean's and underwear down, I screamed for her to help me because she was in the next room and she didnt. After the whole thing was done he let me go, I couldnt find my phone. I went to the bathroom to clean myself as I was heavily bleeding after it happened. I remember hearing her and the guy laughing about how much blood was on the floor and how I was "tight and inexperienced", after it happened and he left I asked her why she didnt help and she acted like she heard nothing even though she was less than 30ft away. She then gave me more alcohol to calm me down promising it would numb the pain I was in and the next thing I remember was waking up on the sofa. The day after she gaslighted me, told me it was my idea although I remember it wasnt, she had messaged him off of my Facebook account at the time, I looked back at the messages and she had deleted everything. I wanted to go to the police but I was terrified of what my family would say or do.. I'd been raped once before that and no one believed me because my older sister claimed I was copying her for attention.

The next time she fucked me over wasnt as horrific, she basically stole about £300 worth of my property a few months after my dad passed away and I had moved in with her temporarily because I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and she was the only "friend" I had. She talked me into going back to him aswell.. I did, like an idiot and when I went to collect my things I found that things were missing, i still havent had the stuff back or even an apology

Then the final explosion came after my ex beat and raped me, police were involved it was a whole ordeal, I moved in with my older sister because I didnt trust "my friend" after the last time. And then my ex messaged my sister, sent her screenshots of the "friend" slagging me off, saying how much better she was than me, how I'd "always been jealous" that "guys want me and not her" ect ect, she was basically trying to slag me off and sleep with him before we had even broke up.

My trouble is after all of this I know she has kids now and the guy the charges she has asked me to make a statement for is a registered sex offender (I know I can say that much) she got with him when she was under the legal age limit, he went to prison for raping a minor before they were dating and she got back with him once he came out.

I know its dumb but I'm really struggling about giving a statement because of the things shes done to me but I know the kids are innocent in all of this and if it helps to get them out of a dangerous situation.. well that's the only thing that's making me feel like I should, for the kids.

I agreed to do the statement but it's so difficult for me because I've been reliving everything since, its engulfed my life, I have flashbacks and nightmares of what happened normally and now its every minute of the day I've been having flash backs, I havent slept properly since it happened because it's even haunting me in my sleep...

I just need to know if I'm doing the right thing?

It hurts so fucking bad and I have no one I can speak to about it fully because I dont want to hurt anyone by telling them what I'm dealing with right now, she even messaged me thanking me for helping her by agreeing to do the statement, I woke up and saw the message and had panic attacks for the rest of the day, playing over what happened in my head every second I've been awake or asleep and I just.. I'm just really fucking hurting and i really need to know if I'm doing the right thing here