So I need to vent because only some people in my family know and it’s eating me alive because I really only have one friend who knows but I can’t always vent to her and I vent to my mom but lately I’ve just been idk it’s been a lot and I’m trying to be strong for my daughter and to let her know one day I did make the right decision and if you read my other post you would kinda know why. But so far me and her dad haven’t been on good terms since I moved out because he assaulted me for the 4th time (once when we first met,twice while I was pregnant and now this time) and we fought because I didn’t wanna give him a bj and wanted to sleep(our daughter was with my mom so I could get some rest) so we were yelling and I took off in our car to my mom and ignored his messages and calls because I’m a quiet person and once I get mad either I blow up or I shut down and there really isn’t a in between. So I get back home around 8 and the dead bolt was on the door and he comes out the bathroom yelling and was like give me the keys all loud and I wasn’t trying to be loud or anything like that at all I just wanted to go lay down and relax and maybe talk but no I threw the keys and then he grabbed me choked slammed me choked me for about 2mins then threw me against our couch so I left I called his sister and my dad and my mom. Now for some reason I went back in the house to grab a bag while on the phone with my mom and he kept saying rude things towards her like f her she could go to hell and just mean things period and then he shut the room door grabbed my phone out my hand forcefully and my watch off my wrist and told me to get tf out his house (both of our names are on the lease) so I did because at the end of the day I gotta make sure my baby is okay so I left I went the police station (it’s down the street) did I file a report no should I have yes but I was just thinking about getting to my baby because it was late. So he called my dad from my phone and was like please bring her back I’m sorry I didn’t mean it and at that point I was just done so my mom comes to get me(my mom and dad aren’t together either but the police called her because it’s the only number I could remember) so she comes gets me my sister has my baby girl and I was just sad happy every emotion was running through me at that point. So the next day it was a Friday while he’s at work we go and get my stuff and I moved out I got my phone and my watch and he is just blowing it up like please don’t do this I’m sorry it won’t happen again I promise I love you like y’all I was torn part because I’ve been with him for a year and half but I told him it happens again and that’s it.

So two weeks after that we’re texting and arguing some days and being nice other days so we go spend sometime with him but then shit hits the fan again because I gave him a bj just because maybe we could try to make things work again so I gave him one but he wanted me to doo it like “the whore I was” so I was trying to but then I got tired 😓 so he gets mad goes off on me calls me names and says “I know you suck dick for a living so why aren’t you sucking mine like that” now I’m a preschool teacher and he knows I don’t do that but once he said it I was ready to go so I told him that and he said good I want you gone so he said I’ll take you once I get off so I start getting things ready told my mom I would be back tonight. So all day he is saying sorry all the mushy shit he always says after he does something and then he says I’m not taking you back you can wait till in the morning and I said nope and called an Uber he wanted to fight the Uber guy because according to him “that’s the guy whose dick your sucking” my Uber was an old guy so we leave and then we don’t talk for a while but I go outta town and we’re being nice to each other.

I know this is long I’m sorry 😐 but fast forward to Friday night I take an Uber to him he buys our daughter more milk diapers and stuff like that we’re being nice but it went downhill Saturday morning because on my fb I put I’m loving to Austin now I have family in Austin and yes I do wanna move there one day but he got mad about that and he went off on me as we’re supposed to be getting breakfast and was like how dare you take my child to Austin and I’m just like hold up now your mad at me for taking her to Austin but your not mad about the fact that your child moved three hours further from you and the courts don’t even know and on top of that she isn’t with her mom anyway like seriously and his response to that was because we’re supposed to be a family and I’m like so the other child isn’t supposed to be here like tf ( she wanted To move in with us and I was all for it but he wasn’t why idk ) so I told him I wasn’t hungry and he gets mad because I didn’t get out the car like instead of spending time with us and trying to fix us you wanna argue like why if you wanted to do that you could’ve just sent more rude as messages. So we get back home he breakfast and I cooled down and stuff it was all good in the hood till Saturday night came and I changed the password on my phone because on fb I’m in a lot of parenting groups and on the dating thing mainly because I’m talking to people who have kids and trying to make friends so he gets mad because I won’t open it because he thinking I’m fucking other guys which I’m not just talking to parents trying to make friends and I repeatedly told him and he wanted to see now I felt like he didn’t need to because I can talk to whom ever I feel like talking to like I don’t have many friends as it is mainly because of him and some of the messages are personally and people’s stories and stuff like that so I felt like it’s an invasion of my privacy so he gets mad and while this is going on our daughter who I’m trying to put to sleep is just looking at me crazily and I was like yeah no we’re leaving and he was like good get tf out I’ll take you rn so we get in the car we’re arguing and he is driving crazy on the road and he kept saying I’m turning around and I’m like no we’re not staying with you anymore because this is crazy like it’s ridiculous its like I canthave a life if he doesn’t control it and I’m tired of it. So we get to the Walmart in Mckinney and he gets out the car all mad while I wait for my Uber to come and he comes back with smoke on his breath and wanted to put his face in hers and I said fuck no like we talked about that before all of this shit even started like your not gonna smoke around her or have your smoke breath in her face so he gets mad throws our stuff out the car tells us to get out we do and drives off leaving us in the cold 🥶 waiting on our Uber and I haven’t heard from him since last night.

Yay that felt good and some of the messages he sent and just some pics of who I’m doing it for because I want her to know that you shouldn’t have to deal with something or someone like that like yes he was a good guy but he was controlling and just a lot of stuff and the sad part was when I talked to his now 9yr old on the phone when we went to go visit the first time and we took an Uber she said she doesn’t like to visit him often because he is mean and scary and only did so because I was there. He called me a bitch in front of her when she came to stay for her break

When he said he didn’t want to see our child again I lost it and he kept saying I played him and I didn’t I loved him I did everything for him did all he asked did his homework took care of him even while I was sick and pregnant

But at the end of the day she is who I do it for

Thank you for reading