I'm just feeling in my thoughts the past few days and just trying to find encouragement I guess. I'm 18 weeks along and havent felt like I could feel truly excited about my upcoming little one do to my on going stressful living situation.

I live with my boyfriend of 5 years and his brother and father. His brother is in his early 20s just like we are and has a child of his own already. Hes a irresponsible lazy slob that doesnt do his fair share around the house causing us to have to deal with it even confronting him doesn't do anything. They dont really get anywhere with confronting him, they just end up cleaning up after him to keep the peace. That's is why I feel like an outsider no matter how much they tell me that's my home too.(I moved in two years ago after I was done with college) I still feel like if I were to say anything other than the stuff I have said it just gets no where. I get where my boyfriend and his father are coming from and not wanting his brother to up and leave and not let them see his son, but what about the little girl that will be here in just a few months? Shes just as important right?

I literally come home from working after 8 hours and go to our room because it's the only area that I feel at peace. I dont go into the kitchen or living room because no matter how much we work hard to keep those areas clean they just get filled back up with unnecessary filth that just overwhelms me. So I avoid those areas. The tension I feel is growing because I only ever leave my room when I home to go to the bathroom, grab something out of 5he fridge, take care of the dogs or when I leaving for work.

We want to move dont get me wrong but at the current moment it's just not possible. I still have a few more months until she gets here it's just all taking its toll on me rn.