Let me just start out by saying I hardly ever say someone is evil. I'm not sure why, but I've always found it to be a strong word. Idk.

I've never been fond of my sister-in-law. She's almost 40 and has never had a job and her and her teenage son still live with her parents. She constantly talks about how she can't keep a job because she's bipolar, but in the next breath complains that she can't get disability because she can't find a psychiatrist that's willing to sign off that her bipolar is severe enough that she can't work. Don't get me wrong, I know that mental health can be devastating to someone's life, but I think what makes me the most sad is she's already telling her teenage son to be the same way. I asked him if he was excited to finish high school soon and what he was interested in doing and he said "probably not much because I'm dyslexic and ADHD..." I mean, if you don't want to have any goals or aspirations, cool, but don't convince your kid that he can't achieve anything. Obviously it's not like I've ever seen her medical file so I don't really know how severe her mental health is, and I try to remind myself that, but I'm definitely not convinced that she isn't being dramatic for an excuse. (She once said that my brother-in-law shouldn't be in jail for theft and assault because he's probably mentally ill too and he should just be let out because people with mental illness shouldn't be held to any consequences.)

The other thing she does, and I don't really know how to explain it, is she tries to start these debates to prove that she's smart or something. (the funny part is if she kept her mouth shut no one would think she wasn't smart) She will say these absolute statements about topics to get people debating and then tries to argue back. She's said things like "You can only have an accent if you're from a place, not just because you live there." Or "all Christians are dumb because they none of them believe in dinosaurs." She talks like she's an expert and when people tell her that she's wrong she doesn't budge and treats everyone else like their dumb especially when it comes to mental health issues. Like when I told her that my PPD went away she said "depression never goes away and you still need treatment" (You'd think she was a psychiatrist herself.) Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but she'll say stuff just to get under my skin. I never show it because I don't want her to have the satisfaction, but it's annoying.

Anyways, she's annoying, but the only reason my husband and I even somewhat tolerate her is because to see the rest of the family (whom we love) we kind of have to see her. She was an annoyance but I never thought she was evil until recently.

My husband's great great grand mother has been incredibly ill and in home hospice care. (She's freaking 92!!) I've been going over two to three times a week to help take care of her because the hospice nurses are only there for short periods of time. Anyways, this lady grew up religious, as I think a lot of people from her generation did. Well, my SIL has been coming into the room and telling her things like "Don't worry about going to heaven or hell, because nothing happens when you die" and "mother Teresa became an atheist shortly before she died, so it's okay if you feel like God is betraying you for killing you and you don't want to believe in him anymore."

THIS is what's evil! And it drives me nuts! This elderly lady is barely mentally coherent so after she says all of this stuff to her she starts having these scary hallucinations and starts freaking out. I have to calm her down and she keeps asking me if she's going to go to hell, and says that she can see her bedroom turning into hell. Her great grandmother is literally dying and I feel like she can't even die in peace because my sister-in-law has some kind of agenda. I don't care that she's an atheist. Be an atheist all you want. It does bother me a little when people try to talk other people out of their faith, because their faith probably brings them a lot of comfort. And you should just let them be. But I think it's absolutely evil to take an old lady who barely knows what's going on and tell her that what she believes isn't real. As far as I know, she's had religious beliefs her whole life, and in her last few weeks of life you're going to tell her that she's wrong? She knows that she's dying, she's probably holding on to the fact that she believes that she's going to go to heaven soon, and you're coming in here and telling her that she's not? Last time she came in and talked to her like that I had to call the hospice nurse to give her some medications because I couldn't get her to calm down. My heart broke for her. My sister-in-law's mom has tried to put her foot down with her and tell her to stop, but she has no spine. Also, most the time when I'm there she leaves so that way she can get a break and so she's not there to stop my sister-in-law from being a bitch. I thought it was just her trying to get under my skin because she knows that I go to church (I found a lot of comfort in it after my brother died) but I've told her how it upsets her great-grandmother and how she should back off and she doesn't care. It's almost like she enjoys it.

Finally he other day I told her she wasn't allowed in her room. And SIL told me I had no right to tell her if she could or could not visit with her great-grandmother and that I'm not even really a part of this family because I'm not blood-related and so I need to stop acting like I care about her great-grandmother more than she does. I stood by the door with it shut and I said "she's sleeping and you're going to let her rest. I'm sure this isn't easy for you to watch your great grandmother slowly pass away, but that doesn't mean you get to go in there and make her feel as sad as you do"

I wanted to add something along the lines of "maybe if you had a job you wouldn't have so much time on your hands to harass your great-grandmother." But I decided that was probably a bad idea. 😬

She got super pissed and walked off once I told her I wasn't leaving the doorway. But I don't know what she says to her when I'm not there. Last few times I've gone over there she does nothing but gives me terrible looks. And her passive aggressive taunting towards me has gotten worse. (She told me that it would have been better if my husband's mother terminated her pregnancy with him. His mom was only 15 when she was pregnant and was considering it at the time but decided against it.) She went on about how it would have been better cuz he had such a crappy childhood. Again, I didn't even respond because I know that's what she wants

After the great grandmother passes away I have no intention of going back over there except for maybe holidays. It's hard because I feel like the other family members don't deserve me cutting them off because they aren't the toxic ones. But It's going to take me some time to forgive her for doing this to her great-grandmother while she's dying. (And pretty much implying that she wished my husband was never born)

Anyways, I hope she gets chlamydia.

Anyone else have a crazy sister-in-law that can relate? I don't know how to keep handling this.