Hi I'm a mom of 4 beautiful children ages 10, 9 5 and 4.

I never thought I'd have 4 children but here I am!

So 2 years ago i unexpectedly fell pregnant and to my surprise i was so happy about it.

My two youngest boys were born 10 months apart.. January 29th, December 24th 2015 so there a hand full but in the best way!

(Sorry I'm rambling on)

Anyway at 10 weeks which was Christmas day I miscarried, it was very traumatic for me as it was Christmas I had to pretend I was okay for sake of kids and family.

After few days I thought about it and decided I wouldn't let take over as it wasnt planned and we already had 4 children.

Over the past two years the pain of losing the baby never went away, I couldn't get over it as we decided not to try again, and I think that made it worse.

I went a year were I took pregnancy test every time my period was due. I'm not sure why I did!

Recently me and my partner have been talking about another and both said we would be so happy to have one.

I did have a positive test last year but continued to have a period, but for that short time I thought I was pregnant I was so happy and that confirmed for me its truly what I want.

I dont give fuck what people think of me for having a large family, I look after my kids well and have so much love to share.

Im also not putting pressure on us to have another, I'm awear of my ovulation dates but just seeing what happens and letting the universe do its thing lol if my rainbow baby is ment to be, then amazing! If not I count my blessing and move on to the next stage in my life!

Sorry for essay.

Goodluck to everyone trying to conceive x