I know it’s horrible but I don’t have many friends and I hate talking to my husband or mother about my feelings about our baby. I know they’d be supportive and listen to me but I see they’re grieving as well. It’s just so hard for me and it’s been so hard for me, but my baby was supposed to be here in four days. I had planned work off and we were so excited, I just honestly feel pretty numb. As if I have a void of wanting to hold my baby and to see how beautiful baby would’ve been. We’ve been trying since I’ve been medically cleared but it’s difficult. I thought I was pregnant the beginning of the month and the false hope just gets worse with every pms symptom that is also a pregnancy symptom. The worst part for me being in this group and reading all of your stories is knowing you all feel what I do and if not worse because there is far more pain in others and I wish I could take it all away. No one should ever experience this pain. I hope all of you mamas gain closure and beautiful healthy babies, I believe we make each other stronger and more hopeful- and that is the most beautiful thing to me. This group has helped me continue living and not just loathing. Thank you mamas