I always had these urges to cut when anything happened that made me a failure.

Instead I just repeatedly punch my arm until it's bright red.

This time, I got crayon on the floor. I don't know why but I just broke down. My step mom was angry and just said "Calm down this isn't something to freak and cry about" so that made me cry a but more because I felt like a child. I use to almost never cry, or atleast in front of people. But now it's like I can't control it. She yells at me when I call myself an idiot or stupid which makes me feel more like an idiot.

It's worse since im on my period, so about anything sets me off. I hate it