I just need to vent.

I got my blood drawn yesterday, my results came back at 20 HCG.

Here’s the timeline:

It took my husband and I over a year to get pregnant.

We found out the weekend after thanksgiving I was pregnant.

December 17th, my birthday, we found out my HCG levels were not increasing enough and had started actually to decrease. We were told we were having a miscarriage and it wasn’t meant to be and all that stuff they say to try and smooth it all over.

December 31st, New Year’s <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, I started heavily cramping and the bleeding started.

It’s now February, I’m still bleeding, my HCG is taking it’s sweet time going down.

My nurse wants me to wait an extra cycle after my HCG is at zero to “let my body rest”

I’m also on metformin, so I pretty much feel horrible 24/7 and I’m bleeding. Our sex life is non existent.

On top of these things, life keeps taking blows at me. Two family members passed away within two days of each other in January. I applied for a job I really really wanted. I failed on the second of the three rounds of testing for it.

I’m so fed up. My mental health is done. I feel constantly angry and depressed.

My husband is literally the worst at comforting me. I try not to tell too many people as all I get are “oh poor you, it just wasn’t your time, god took it for a reason...” etc.

I just want to move on but nothing is going right.