sex before marriage?

Question

just curious about what you ladies think. i’m 17 and raised in a catholic household and go to a catholic school so i’ve only heard that you’ll burn in the depths of hell if you do, so sometimes i see it that way but other times i see it as “ya gotta make sure it works before you buy it” or whatever that saying is. 
basically what my (nun) theology teacher says;

Answer

Gotta test drive it before you buy it 🤷🏽‍♀️ you can wait till marriage and not be sexually compatible and may lead to divorce.

Answer

I think it’s complicated. I’m Eastern Orthodox, and I e struggled with the whole chastity thing in the past. For me, my ex and I were together for 2 years, got engaged, loved each other so much. So even tho we split I don’t feel bad about having slept with him. To me that was a committed relationship. However, the times when I slept with people I didn’t love, or wasn’t in a relationship with, I feel bad abt that. I was disrespecting myself, and my partner, lowering myself to my basest instincts in a way that doesn’t reflect the kind of person I want to be. Esp since I ended up hurt most of the time. I felt used. 
To me, the prohibition on sex before marriage is a way to protect you. Protect you from being hurt and used by people who don’t care for you, protect you physically from illness etc, and protect you mentally/emotionally. I think casual sex makes us see people differently too. Makes you more likely to see people as an object, and see yourself as an object too. To me excessive casual sex is the same as drinking or doing drugs to distract yourself from real problems etc. 
But in a loving, committed, relationship, even if you are unmarried still, it can and does help to strengthen the bond with you and your partner. Sex is a gift from god to be enjoyed with your partner it isn’t shameful and grows the relationship. It’s not about marriage to me, it’s about true love between the people. 
But that’s just how I see it in my life. Other people may have different experiences and different takes. But this is how I think of it based on my actions, reactions, and experiences. Hope it helps 😊

Answer

The saying is actually "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", meaning if you give up sex too quickly your partner may not be interested in any other aspects of the relationship.
I didn't wait til marriage, but I did wait until I was in a committed relationship.

Answer

You wait until you're ready. I had my first time at 18 and while it was a good new discovery, it didn't change anything in me like people say. Nothing was taken from me, or added for that matter. 
Understand the consequences that it comes with having sex, but do not be ashamed of talking about it. Learn about your body first, how fertility and conception works, the types of birth control available from reputable sources. Planned parenthood and private clinics websites have some good information available. School fails us at doing this, so educate yourself on your own.

Answer

I was in the same boat as you. I wasn’t going to have sex before marriage because I’m catholic. Well then I started dating my now husband and he was fine with waiting until we got married and we knew we would get married someday and we loved each other so I changed me mind and we had sex before marriage and I don’t regret it. You can always go to reconciliation to feel better.

Answer

I grew up religious (Lutheran) but didn’t wait until marriage. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years before we had sex and made sure he respected me and really loved me before we did it and I think that’s all that matters. Jesus forgave us for ALL our sins so you’re not going to hell because you have sex before marriage.

Answer

I was raised to wait until marriage...... I however did not.
With that being said I did wait until I was engaged to my now husband.
Only you can make the right choice for you. You are your own person and it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks

Answer

Well I have a son and I've never been married. So there's you answer 🤣

Answer

I understand both viewpoints and was raised in a (conservative) Christian household. I was hoping to wait until marriage, and while I haven’t had penetrative sex, my SO and I have played around with oral. He was raised in a household similar to mine (just not as strictly conservative), and we’re trying to wait (it’s not easy, though).  
As far as the “try it before you buy” in order to determine sexual compatibility, I kinda disagree. There’s something special about losing a virginity to a spouse. For “kinks,” “fantasies,” and preferences; actually talking about it beforehand seems like it would be a good idea before trying it with someone. Just a thought 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Oops. I put yes and I meant to put gotta be married. I believe sex is sacred. Sure it is for pleasure but it is something that should be shared between husband and wife. It creates bond. That is how I feel but I know that isn’t going to be the popular opinion. I’m not catholic but I am Christian.

sex before marriage?

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