What do I do?

Question

Is it ok to break down and cry I do it silently all the time I don’t tell anybody I do though but I have so much sadness inside that’s never shown I really just feel lonely and empty is this just something I’m going to have to cope with and get through or should I get help before anything

Answer

I have broken down many times. I am a single mommy trying to do it all. In the beginning when we first got home, I was so sore from vaginal delivery, that it took forever for me to get up and get my baby when he would cry. I couldn’t sit, it hurt to stand, I just felt like I couldn’t win. When he needed a bottle, I’d slowly walk to the kitchen and make it for him, while he cried a few feet from me. I felt so overwhelmed. I cursed my body for tearing so bad, and making it nearly impossible to care for my newborn. Getting in and out of bed was just as bad. After about 17 days, I felt better, then anxiety kicked in. Sometimes I couldn’t soothe my baby right away, and he’s just cry for what seemed like forever. I felt like he didn’t feel comforted by me. It killed me emotionally. He’d cry, and I’d cry. There are still times to this day (he’s 15 weeks) I cry silently. He fights sleep, I’m tired and I just feel like a failure. But I was always told, unless you feel like harming yourself or your child, you don’t have to seek help, that it’s all normal. But please, don’t make yourself suffer. Get the help of you need it. I hope I was able to help a bit. #FirstTimeMommy

Answer

I used to be like this also. Almost every time i was alone I’d just sit and cry until my heart hurt. Sometimes after work I’d even just sit in my car down by the river or in a parking lot and cry before I went home. I did this for years.. probably close to 3 or 4 years. Then I met my husband. I still cried a lot in the beginning and especially as night. I’d wait for him to go to bed then I’d just cover my mouth and cry until I either fell asleep or went numb. After awhile though I stopped crying every night and then after awhile I stopped crying all together. I don’t know exactly what changes that made it to where I was less sad and cried less but I’m glad it did. The pain I get before was almost unbearable but even without my husband knowing he pulled me out of the darkness. I’d say I haven’t cried like that in a little over a year and even though sometimes I still get sad or have my bad days most days are good and definitely no more crying breakdowns ❤️ my point is there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m so thankful I was able to stay strong so I could have the life I have now with my husband and our future baby girl.

What do I do?

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