Feeling guilty

The past couple days I've been wondering if I feel pregnant. Just kinda bloated, exhausted, and my feet hurt. Had some nausea the other night (I had morning sickness at night with my first). Woke up this morning feeling incredibly nauseous. Vomited, felt better. Talked to my husband who joked about maybe morning sickness.

Now, we are not actively trying for baby #2. We take all the necessary precautions, but nothing is 100%. We're not trying mostly because I'm not ready. I'm not mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially ready (ideally I'd like to be a SAHM when we have #2). My husband has been nothing but supportive, God bless him. He would love for us to already be pregnant or starting to try soon, but he's supporting my timeline and I'm so grateful. He said, "If you are pregnant, it's okay, we'll have 9 more months to prepare. If you aren't, then we just have more time."

I'm feeling a whole lot of guilt. Guilt for not wanting a baby right now, guilt for not being ready for a baby right now. Guilt that I feel relieved that this is probably just another stomach bug. But on the flip side- I loved being pregnant and I'm starting to feel guilty for not being pregnant.

Ugh, I'm just having a lot of emotions, so thanks for reading lol 💗