My Toxic Ex

This is just something I need to say. My first boyfriend was terrible to me. He started many fights, screamed, called me names, spit on me, etc. So so horrible. We broke up just over 4 years ago. I have to say now that that relationship truly changed my life. If not for that, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, and I LOVE her. Another thing I have to say too is that although I spent a good year or so PISSED at him and just honestly hating him, 4 years later, we are actually kind of friends. He has admitted to and apologized for being abusive (he actually said the word) and I have forgiven him. There is so much healing in someone admitting what they did to you. There is also so much healing for THEM in you forgiving them. It feels so good. Like a huge weight is lifted. We can laugh about the good times we had together and compliment each other. He is someone I think will always be in my life. I think of him often and always hope he is doing well because life was not kind to him growing up. We can’t make excuses for people, but that’s something huge to consider is childhood trauma. It helps to better understand why they did what they did to you, even if it’s not right.