I don’t know what to do..

My Husband , we have been together for 7 years, had a child together, yet I actually still don’t understand him at all...his friends seems to be everything to him, he appreciates them but never me.

Maybe it’s jealousy,

But it hurts because recently, he had a competition that he went and won! And throughout i was cheering as he was giving up when he was ‘losing’ at finals which i ask him to “don’t give up!”and actually gave him some helpful tips which he said that he would use (as we use to play the same sport and had the same teacher back in college) and super excited because i know he’s gonna win and yes he won!

Then when he came home, he told me that it was a tough fight, and even though he was losing and text his friends about giving up (too) they told him to “not give up” which gives him the strength to ‘not give up’.

Like i dont know how to react to that when he attributes his success to his friends encouragement, don’t know why but it felt like a punch in the gut even though it might not even mean much but like it feels as if i am never part of his success.

It feels like I am not really a part of his support system, my words doesn’t mean anything to him.

Happy that his friends managed to help him to win this trophy i guess :)

I guess it hurts because I struggle with extreme low self esteem and i dont know what to fo about it..

Having parents and family members even teachers in high school that are always putting me down, never once acknowledge the things i did well, fat shaming (even though my bmi was at the acceptable range at age 7-10 coz i had a belly and wasn’t underweight as my fam is asian) forcing me to lose weight since young really broke me because now im obese after having a baby and all this comments are worse than before, and my husband is all i have, I guess feeling that he don’t need me at all hurt a part of me inside and i dint know what to do..